Hypocritical Contradiction









Hypocritical Contradiction thoughts stories
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blondee
blondee Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   2 months ago
2:30 am thoughts on things.

Hypocritical Contradiction

I'm a hypocrite and I don't mean to be.

A lot of my thoughts and opinions are extremely contradicting and I don't understand myself or my opinions or decisions.

I want to go in my brain and start making incisions.

But where would that get me? Probably nowhere fast.

Does it really matter, though? I always finish last.

My past tries to grab me and hold me down tight.

Between us two, it's never a fair fight.

I say one thing and I do something else.

But I swear I don't mean it like the way that it felt.

I can hardly keep up with myself everyday. I realize it's not okay.

But what do I say? I gave up on pleasing those I once tried to obey.

I want to be different I want to change.

It's hard when I feel like I'm somewhere out of range.

Like I'm here, but I'm not. It's tough to explain.

And that's why I usually just don't- I've accepted the pain.

The pain and the solitude. It's what is left.

Yeah there are moments I smile and laugh and do what they expect.

But inside of my mind, it's not what you'd expect.

They keep telling me life goes on, no matter what.

I know- one door opens, another one will shut.

That's not my point, it's different than that.

Its like my body is here, but me? I dont know where I'm at.

And how do you help someone with a problem like that?

You dont, you just leave it where its at.

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