“DAN? Dan are you home?”, Phil was running into their apartment. He hadn't spend the night at home.
“I’m in the living room. Don’t worry Phil, I’m not angry anymore, it was just a stupid little fight.” Phil ran into the living room, completely out of breath and even paler than usual.
“Phil are you alright, you look horrible.” Dan said it with a smile but he had to admit that he was mildly concerned. “I did something really stupid…”
The night before…
“PHIL LESTER!!!!!!!” Dan was standing in the kitchen with an empty bag of Marshmallows in his hand, when Phil walked into the room.
“Calm down Dan, I’ll buy new Marshmallows for you.” Dan did not seem like that answer was enough for him. “I need them now Phil, you knew I wanted to use them for the new baking video. You could've asked if you can have one, you know."
Phil wanted to answer but Dan did not let him. “No, you don't know, because you never ask! Every damn time. I buy new cereal, the next day it's gone.
I buy Marshmallows, two hours later, they are gone. You have no respect of boundaries Phil! You're an awful housemate, you leave all the kitchen cupboards open.
EVERY DAY! Just like your stupid contact lens box! I’m not the one who is blind like a mole, I don’t need to clean up your shit!"
Phil was looking at his feet, he had never experienced Dan this angry. “Look Dan, I’m sorry, I’ll buy new Marshmallows right now. I promise I’ll be a better housemate in the future."
Instead of saying it was okay like usual, Dan just shook his head and looked annoyed.
“You say that every time. Maybe I just have to lower my standards for what I think a good housemate should do.” “I am a good housemate.” Dan laughed at that statement.
“No, you’re not, I can’t even leave you alone for two seconds without you breaking something.
Just face it Phil and leave me alone for today!” With that being said, Dan left the kitchen and Phil got angry.
“FINE! IF MY PERFECT HOUSEMATE WANTS TO BE ALONE, I’LL LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!” Phil left the apartment and slammed the door after him. This reaction was not normal for him.
Dan always told him that he wasn’t a good housemate, but he tried so hard. Even in his anger, Phil still bought the stupid Marshmallows for Dan, but he was too angry to go home now.
So he walked through the streets of London for a little while, still thinking about the fight. “Stupid Dan thinks I can’t take care of myself. Like a child.
But I’ll prove I’m an adult just like him.” Right after he finished mumbling his last sentence, Phil walked past a tattoo studio. He knew he shouldn't even stop but somehow it called to him.
He stood there and stared at the studio for about 30 minutes until the crazy person in his head told him to go inside.
“Hey buddy, looking for a unicorn tattoo?"
The tattoo guy looked really intimidating and Phil was sure he should just leave this place and never think about this ever again, but he didn't…
“Not quite. What's the most manly tattoo you have?” The tattoo artist looked at Phil like ‘What the hell are you even doing here kid?’, but Phil just smiled at him.
After a deep breath the guy continued talking. “Look buddy, I really think you should leave.” “I don’t care about what you think or anyone else.
I want a pack of cereal on my arm and over that, I want Dan is the worst housemate ever.” Now the tattoo guy looked even more confused.
“Alright whatever, if you really want this, I’m not the right person to judge you.”
The next day again…
“Wait, are you telling me that you got a tattoo?” Without saying anything, Phil took off his jacket and pulled out his left sleeve. Dan couldn't do anything but laugh at what he saw.
It was literally a box of cereal with the words ‘Dan is the worst housemate’ ever written above it. Phil didn't find it quite as amusing as Dan.
“It’s not funny Dan! I am so stupid! Why did I do that?” Dan had stopped laughing by now and walked up to his friend.
“Phil, it’s just a small tattoo, you can’t even see it when you wear a T-Shirt.” “But I’m so sorry.” “Why?”
“Because of what it says. You're not the worst housemate, you're a great one and you're my best friend. I acted like a child.” Dan stopped smiling and put one his jacket.
“What are you doing Dan?” “I have to go, I’ll be home in about three hours or something.” Dan left the apartment and a completely confused Phil. Phil, on the other hand, went to bed.
He hadn't slept all night and now he just hoped that he would wake up and everything was just a weird dream…
The day after…
After having slept for twelve hours, Phil basically sleepwalked into the kitchen the next morning. Unfortunately the tattoo had not been a bad dream but reality.
When he made himself a bowl of cereal, the noticed that Dan was in the kitchen as well. “Good morning sleepy head. You want coffee?” Phil nodded, still more asleep than awake.
“Morning. When did you come home last night?” “At like 10 pm or something.” “What did you do?” “I got a tattoo.” Phil was so shocked that he almost dropped the bowl of cereal, almost.
He was wide awake now. “You got a tattoo?!” Without a word, Dan pulled up his sleeves and Phil stared at his right arm.
His tattoo said ‘Phil is the best friend ever’ and under that he had little cat whiskers. “Awww Dan.” “I realized that I should appreciate you more. I’m sorry that I got angry."
“I’m sorry that I ate your Marshmallows and your cereal and basically everything else."
They both laughed and talked about the horrifying experience of getting a tattoo and how they both tried not to cry in front of the tattoo artist.