I don't know about you guys but I fear love
I fear the fall
Of the expectations
The predetermined destinations
The smiles that hide for miles
The fact that it always ends
Sure a hand to hold would be nice
Some cuddling would be great
But the emotions
The rabbit hole I will surely fall down
The fact that once it's over its never the same
But you don't know
Don't know all my thoughts
My thoughts our glorious but never shared
Sharing is hard
What if I share too much or too little?
Then what happens when they leave?
When my expectations become too heavy and we collapse
I become too cold
too hard to love
I share too much and scare them off
I share too little and they stick around a little longer
But leave later anyways
Even with my guarded heart and deep scars
Somehow someone manages to get by
But I'm stuck with the side effects
of the sleepless nights wondering if they are thinking the same.
Of thinking about too much and becoming overwhelmed
But still, I love the idea of love but hate the reality
So I stay in my tower built for one
With my piles of fiction and pads of paper thinking things out for myself
Leaving love in the back of my mind
So I do not feel the failure that it's accompanied by.