I seized the opportunity
I admit it. I smacked the lid down on his stupid head as he was looking into the boot of his car in a darkened car park.
I kept walloping him until he was good and dead, then I caught the bus home again.
It was worth it just to get rid of Mike. Insufferable, noisy, Mike the super slob. He had blighted my life for long enough and now it was my turn.
I shared an office with Henry for 28 years.
Henry was like me, neat and tidy and quiet. We ever had a cross word in all that time. In fact we didn’t exchange many words at all.
Then Henry did a terrible terrible thing, he retired and left me with Mike.
Apparently Henry and his partner Leonard had a boat and a little place in Italy where they liked to go to paint.
I found out later that several of the other staff had rented the place for holidays.
He never said a word to me, but there again I never asked.
I just assumed that he lived alone in a tidy little flat like me.
I went to his leaving thing, it was noisy and I didn’t stay long.
On Monday Mike arrived, he had his feet up on Henrys desk and the radio on within about 20 minutes.
He was lazy, and he never sharpened the pencils and put them back in order. Why people liked him I will never understand.
I complained, but the boss just said 'George you have to move with the times.'
The day they took my filing away to computerise it, I knew Mike had to go. He was full of new ideas and he called me obsessive.
I said he should go back down the sewer that he came from and we never spoke again. It was heaven.
I planned it all meticulously, even down to the bus route.
The police came to the flat, I didn’t know what went wrong exactly. I had been so very careful.
Apparently they found evidence at my flat which proved I could have done it.
Henry came and gave evidence, against me would you believe.
He told them that he knew me well, and that I was excessively neat and tidy.
If only I hadn’t started that collection of bus tickets.
All neatly arranged and filed in order of destination.
I have asked for a cell on my own but they said no. Oh well whoever I get I hope he is tidy, or I might just have to think up another neat little plan!