"I am a representative" he said The fact that half of him was sticking through a wall did not seem to bother him in the slightest. "A representative of what?"
"EEEK" he said "End of life Ectoplasmic Entities and Kinetic beings" He said proudly I'm their "Chop Steward, hah ha" "A Union of spooks? Are you completely mad?"
"Not me pal. I'm a headless horseman. Norman my steed finds walls difficult so I'm sitting on him in the next room." "Headless?" Sure, he lifted his hat and it was seriously gross, all dangly orange bits of unknown origin.
"We do have some proper mad ones." "The monk in the crumbling tower is seriously 'hatstand' and the White Lady on the stairs can throw a proper wobbler if she has a mind to." "Mostly we are hardworking ghosts just trying to get through our afterlife like anyone else."
"But you formed a union?" "Yeah-we are fed up the noise your builders are making, and their language is foul." "I'm an old soldier I can hack it, but the White Lady is very nearly a pink one, and the burnt nuns in the cellar were simply outraged."
"So what do you want?" I asked putting down my paper. He frowned. "Well a bit less noise and cursing would be a start. Otherwise we will work to rule and knock you off the Haunted England Tourist Trail."
"That means, no surprising coach parties." "No chain rattling after five" "No visits from the Satanic Hunt or the Phantom Coach." "And" he said firmly "The nuns won't chant, the White Lady will not scream
and the mad monk will definitely not be doing his thing with the temparature changes, and the awful smells and stuff." I sighed and said "I thought that was the plumbing!" "No it's all Brother Stephen" he said. "Personally I think it's diet of fish and beer that's to blame."
"Right" I told him "Well we can't have that can we." "I will try to get them to tone down the language and the noise, if you guys carry on doing your spooking, ok." "Don't be gauche" he said "It's called Ectoplasmic Enterprise these days."
"Ok" I said "Well it's been lovely, but the water is getting cold and I need to get out of the bath so perhaps we could schedule this for another time..." He nodded holding on to his hat and I suspect his head. "Righty ho. Perhaps a regular meeting then. First wednesday of the month suit you Squire?"
I nodded "As long as it isn't bath night, and no peeking if it is. What goes on between a man and his rubber ducky is private ok." He stuck up a thumb and said he would 'tell the troops'. I grabbed a towel and wondered what surprises Eeek would come up with next month!