Delivery for you.
What -it's three in the morning for Gods sake!
Tough, he's all yours sign here.
I will not, let me phone the unit and get to the bottom of this.
No time, we had to drug him but it's going to wear off pretty soon. He's got one hell of a punch for an old guy the driver said, undoing the van doors and sliding out a blanket covered gurney.
Ta ta have fun!
He was back in the cab and off up the road before gurney had stopped rolling!
Sherlock Holmes swore- bloody unit, someone was going to pay for this sending him subjects with no warning. He pulled back the blanket.
Oh shit-he said as the prone figure let out a huge snore!
What the hell have you done! Holmes poured himself a coffee with his mobile clamped to the other ear!
Yes I know we agreed to pick another suitable subject, and we also agreed on adequate warning and evaluation beforehand.
You could have scooped up Jack the Ripper or some other maniac and let him loose right here in the 21st century you idiot!
Yes I know this one isn't a maniac, well not the kind you mean anyway, and how do I know, because, you complete pillock, you have only managed to time scoop Dr John H Watson.
Yes that one!
Well you had better sort it out before he comes round. He's got a left hook like a sledgehammer and he can be surprisingly agile when the mood is on him.
I want him sent back immediately before he wakes up!
A tired voice from the doorway whispered 'Too Late' as a chair came crashing down on the back of Holmes head.
It knocked him forward and he landed heavily on the floor, Watson jumped on him and put his foot heavily on Holmes back.
Now then my friend, if you don't want to get hit again, start talking, who are you and why have you kidnapped me?
Holmes groaned, Jesus that hurt!
Good, now start talking -if you don't want another one just the same!
Switch on the light-Holmes said quietly, it's the little knob on the wall by your arm, pull it down.
And give you a chance to jump me again-no fear!
Let me get up and I will do it- look there's a loaded revolver taped under that counter top . You can have it if you will just let me switch on the light.
Ok- I have it, now get up slowly.
Groggily Holmes got up and switched on the light, it was an irritating Eco bulb and took a few seconds to get going.
Now turn round slowly and let's get a look at you Watson said.
Holmes turned, Good Morning Doctor.
The revolver dropped to the floor, Jesus Mary and all the Saints what the hell is going on here!!
Holmes grinned, strangely enough that's pretty much what I thought when I first saw you!
Watson sagged, I think I need to sit down.
Holmes rubbed the back of his head wincing, I think we both do.
Let me pour us both a stiff drink and then we can talk. Please follow me to the lounge where I am sure we will both be a lot more comfortable.
There we are, Homes poured a generous measure of single malt and plonked himself down in an armchair. Sit down Doctor you look like you have just seen a ghost.
Are you a ghost-Watson asked Downing his drink in one go, or have I just gone insane and this is all part of some weird psychotic dream!
Holmes smiled-no John it's all perfectly real, I am real and so are you.
The Doctor scratched his head, then tell me what's going on? Why aren't you dead these 10 years, where am I and why the hell are you dressed like that, is it some sort of disguise?
Oh dear-look it's going to be a bit of a big one so you might need another Scotch, that's better.
Right, let's start in the middle which may help to explain both ends.
You are in my home Doctor, bought and paid for by my own industry and furnished I am assured in a tasteful modern style.
The doctor sniffed, smells very clean, sort of floral, he frowned.
Hang on why doesn't it smell of tobacco? This must be a dream because every room you ever inhabited was yellow and generally smelled like Lucifers left armpit!
A heady mixture of old baccy and singed furniture with a subtle whiff of damp socks!
I gave up!
You what, now I know this is a dream!!!
Smoking is no longer considered acceptable. You can't smoke in any public place now, not even in the pub or on a train. Holmes smiled, it was tough but I got there with a bit of help.
Right, so you own this floral scented palace and you quit the cigs so what's next?
Well I suppose the next thing after where are we is when are we.
I beg your pardon did you just say 'when' are we!
That's right, prepare yourself for a shock Holmes said opening a door to the garden where dawn was breaking. Look up he said as an airliner skimmed the horizon.
Welcome to the 21st century Doctor, that is an Aeroplane,
Judging by the tail it's come all the way from Australia, in one go in less than a day.
In a short time it will be landing and several hundred tired cramped people will get off it like they had just caught a number 9 bus.
What do you think Doctor?
I think I need to sit down is what I think said the Doctor staggering backwards.
Several glasses of water and one cup of coffee later, the Doctors head stopped spinning... Again slowly this time.
We are in the first quarter of the 21st century, you were picked up in error by a time scoop and delivered to me for safe keeping.
I am Sherlock Holmes, now known as Simon to the outside world and you are my good friend John H Watson MD, unofficially the worlds oldest living man!
Yup bloody hell indeed-Holmes grinned it's very good to see you old chap
You too, you look well
I am well, fitter, stronger and look I got my teeth fixed
I noticed, er very nice, quite remarkable really!
Took over a year of braces and cosmetic work but now I have a smile to be proud of, oh and I got a tattoo as well, but that's perhaps another story!
Go on-lets see the worst of it
Holmes flushed, ok you asked, he pulled up his shorts and bent over, recognise the famous face
Oh my good God that is hilarious - you really did that!
Oh yes- I am now always one step ahead of Professor James Moriarty and he is so to speak always a little behind
Watson beamed.Good likeness!