His own father said he was like whipped cream! Beautiful and tempting to look at, with absolutely no substance and liable to collapse under the slightest pressure!
Guy Lakeman took off his glasses and wiped a hand across his eyes. He was tired which was unusual.
Normally he was full of energy but lately the world was beginning to press down on his shoulders a little and he didn’t like it.
He surveyed his handiwork. Seventeen pages of crap, lovely lucrative crap. No matter what bilge he gave them they lapped it up.
There were only a dozen plots anyway, everyone knew that. Everyone except his legions of adoring fans it seemed.
As long as the heroine was oppressed and pretty and the hero was handsome and learned the error of his ways before the last chapter then everything in the garden was lovely.
He hadn’t set out to be a romantic novelist, he found it demeaning, but hey a person had to live, and he was seriously good at this shit.
At every book signing they arrived by the bus load. A positive swarm of grey-haired old dears.
Sometimes they got a bit out of hand and once or twice he had been lucky to escape with his virtue intact. It was amazing how much damage a horny seventy something could inflict.
He ran his fingers through his beautiful blonde curls and the only thing that came into his head was ‘Thank God it’s nearly over!’
He got up from his chair and switched off the lights. Most nights he did a few laps of the pool to keep his perfect body in trim, but this evening he couldn’t be bothered.
He gave himself a stern mental warning about the dangers of laziness and resolved to swim for twice as long in the morning. At his age you could not afford to let things slip.
Bed and a full night’s sleep that was what he needed.
As usual he would be alone. The thought of sharing his private space with another being revolted him.
He could turn out romances by the dozen for a fat profit, but the notion of conducting one himself made his skin crawl.
Newspapers over the years had suggested that he was secretly gay or asexual, but the truth was much simpler than that.
Guy Lakeman had been conducting an intense love affair with Guy Lakeman for as long as he could remember and there was simply no room for anyone else.
He went through his nightly cleansing ritual, proper grooming was so important. He stripped and climbed into bed casting an admiring glance at himself in the mirror.
“Still looking good babe” he said out loud.
He switched off the light, relaxed and let himself change. It was the final part of his routine. Drifting off he wondered absently what his adoring fans would make of his beautiful pointed ears...