The biggest lie i regret i wish was fiction.
In 2012 i was doing great at least i thought.
A great job a wonderfull smart daughter.A wife that was my best friend.A beautifull home things where as good as it gets.Then i got hurt at work my ankle shatterd.
I was unable to walk normally for the next three years.At first i forced my self to work with a cast on I was my familys only means.So i took the meds to work with the pain.
I became addicted and it changed me.I was not a father or husband anymore.I watched as my wife pleaded with me to get help.I wouldnt budge i could carry the weight.
At least for a little i did but only in my mind.We lost our home we where homeless.And it was my fault i promised my daughter and wife i would get our home back.
Her and my daughter had to go stay with a relative of hers that hated me for what i had done.I couldnt blame them for how they felt.
I stayed on the streets and in out temp homes i got another job and worked through the pain.Only thing is i still had the addiction.
I remember one day as my daughter came to viste me with tears in her eyes she said daddy when are we going home.I was hurtting i promised them i would choose them over the pills.
I nerver did my wife moved on after 6yrs of waitting for me to get it together.But my pumpkin she still belived in me.
I got my fathers old place after he passed on during this time along with my uncle and grandmother.I was alone but i had a roof and power just barley.She stayed christmases with me and summers.
Her mom came to viste saw how i hid it from my daughter but i had not changed.I had gotten worse.She got full costody and i begain my longest drop.
Im not mad she did what i good mother should do. I was bad real bad not perfect now but better then back then.
I lied i told my daughter i would fix our home and she said she wanted to come live with daddy.I said i choose her over the pills.I didnt of course.Then in the fall of last year.
I was attacked i was around the wrong people and when i wanted out i was beaten nearly to death.I had no one no family but my daughter. When she asked me why this happen.
I told her the truth .Her heart finnaly broke. The next time i heard from her she said she was fine. And that she had a new daddy.That she will always love me but to move on.
My trying to be in her life was causing problems they had a good life finnaly.Hearing her say that ripped my soul apart. I droprd to my knees as if all the air had been let out of me .
The hurt if you could call it that the turture it felt like my life had ended.I aplogize i wish i could give you a happy ended but theres not for me not yet.
So the lie i most regret is the one i told my daughter and my ex-wife.That i would choose them over this.
I never hive so i carry the hurt of not knowing the pain my ex-wife felt watching me go down this way.
And the cringing pain of knowing that i broke the heart of my daughter looked up to me and loved me the most.