This is why you are hurt and alone.

bernardtwindwilGranddad & story teller,
Autoplay OFF  •  3 months ago

This is why you are hurt and alone.

by bernardtwindwil

The digital communications age.

You spend too much time on facebook, Instagram, texting, talking, and not paying attention to your relationship. Don't forget that conversation was the first form of social media.

The loss of attraction.

You became infatuated with superficial and physical attributes and the novelty has faded. And as it fades to black, you learn nothing and jump into a new shallow relationship as an antidote.

Spending to much time on your own reflection

Selfish egocentric narcissism is not always overt. By continuing with your desire to have everything your own way. Forcing the other partner to walk on eggshells is toxic and destructive.

Less that two people are willing to commit.

The only path toward a healthy and lasting affair of the heart is too wholeheartedly commit to making the relationship work. It cannot be all about one person. A good relationship is hard work

Less than two people in the relationships are mature enough.

Immaturity is always fatal to a relationship. No one wants a relationship with a child. You need the maturity to work on a realistic set of goals and values.

You fail to pay the rent.

Money is the great universal stressor in all modern societies. Your inability to live within your means is a stake to the heart for most relationships. You must learn to be frugal.

You fight dirty.

You are not actively listening to your partner. You either act enraged or withdrawn. You complain about the other persons to family or friends. You are dishonestly withholding information.

You have lost the power of please and thank you.

At some point we lose our manners toward the other person. We take them for granted. Your partner is not your serf. Forgett manners at the peril of your relationship.

You wake up in bed next to a stranger.

You are blind to your partner's expressions of love.

Everyone expresses love in a different manner. You have to be cognizant of different methods of expression. If not you become lonely and leave a victim of your own blindness.

You are incompatible.

Your "chemistry" doesn't mix. You ignored this and entered a relationship with the wrong person. It is no ones "fault". Your relationship will sooner or later fail after a good deal of misery.

A beautiful wedding is a shitty reason to get married.

You are married to your career not your relationship.

This is a failure to prioritize. Your boss will not remember you when you are dead. Throwing yourself into work allows you to avoid emotional commitment. People not paychecks!

You are the green monster

Jealousy is fatal to any relationship. You don't own the other person as property. Jealousy is not something you have, it is something you are. Jealousy arises from poor self-concept.

You are afraid of love, of loss, of abandonment.

Those fears take over and consume your energy. It takes energy and courage to have a good relationship. Fear kills love in a thousand ways.

You are an addict not a lover.

When one has an addiction to substances, obtaining and using those substances supersedes all emotion and logic. You cannot love anything stronger than your addiction.

You or your partner have an untreated mental illness.

Depression, ADHD, OCD, all other mental illnesses must be treated before any relationship of lasting value can be formed. Resolve childhood issues. Lose your dissonant attitude.

These issues can be solved

Seek help from professionals. Their are specialists in family counselling that can help. Seek them out or stay lonely. It is up to you.

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bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller,
8 months ago
She moved away without telling me, or saying goodbye.
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ashwinidodaniVerifiedPublished Poet. Human. Spiritualist.
a month agoReply
Bernard, I am your fan. This is a brilliant piece and straight from the heart. Thank you for writing this.

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller,
3 months agoReply
@michaelschulze True

3 months agoReply
@bernardtwindwil Well if you and i could be dragged out of the dark ages kicking and screaming there is still hope left for the world lol

wiebogroblerTwitter: @WieboG Website:
3 months agoReply
Great story Bernard. I wrote something very similar about a year ago. Younger people are missing out on good old fashioned conversation and just enjoying each others company without checking their phones every 5 minutes.

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller,
3 months agoReply
@FilterlessMe Thank you. It took a lifetime for me to learn these things. On the other hand, I ,may be full of crap.

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller,
3 months agoReply
@michaelschulze Thanks. I think only those of us who are old enough to remember conversation and chats around a campfire find this electronics addiction as beyond normal.

3 months agoReply
Wow,great !

3 months agoReply
Well oh well Bernard you hammered a few nails in all the right spots with this one i thik i might invite a whole lot of people over so they can sit and stair at thair phones all night and not say a word to each other lol

bryanthomasGifted WriterIn my spare time I juggle fog.
3 months agoReply
@bernardtwindwil You're welcome!

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller,
3 months agoReply
@bryanthomas @carlafischer Thank you for saying something. I had a friend in high school who refused to date the girls who wanted to go out with him. I asked him why. He told me , "I refuse to date a girl who is psychotic and maladjusted enough to want to go out with me." The retail wealth of the world relies on addiction and a complete failure of individuals to take accountability for their behavior. I have friends who are single and are OK with it because they have learned the difference between being alone and being lonely. I wrote this for the "oh why oh why did he or she leave me?" crowd. Because you are both sociopaths, that's why. I didn't expect any" likes" except for the people with self-knowledge. I agree with you on keeping intellectually engaged. It keeps me young, but for the occasional forays into dementia.