grief​
grief​ stories
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bernardtwindwil
bernardtwindwilGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago

grief​

by bernardtwindwil

Grief is a normal anguish felt at loss of a love

Grief is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that we were strong enough to love so intensely that we are broken at that love's​ loss.

Grief makes everyone suffer differently.

For some the rending of hair or bashing out of teeth or other self-destructive acts. For some, it showing absolutely no external emotion. All people who have loved will eventually grieve

I am grieving the loss of me.

I can no longer live the life I loved. I built my life with compassion, toughness, and courage. In later years I tempered that with gentleness, moral strength, and knowledge.

I fought Quixotic battles with evil and death

I tilted at windmills . I never won but, I never quit. If courage was needed, I was the one they turned to. If it was incredible muscular strength, me again. And standing up against bullies.

I was a bigger than life legend in my own time

I was called "Conan the RN". I was a role model. I was needed. I led the way from the front. I fed on self-sacrifice. I loved being the good guy everyone turned to in times of danger.

That is gone now I am just another old man waiting to die​

No one needs me. I need them now. I have only my mind left. Sometimes my hands shake and it is hard to type and shave. I used to make beautiful jewelry. No more.

My family is disposing of the things of my life

I can't climb into my pick-up anymore. My world globe set in semi-precious stones has to go. My shop tools are going. My hunting and fishing gear are being sold. My boat is going.

I have no fear of death I only fear living without dignity

I do not want reincarnation nor everlasting life.

What would I do for an encore? I have lived a more adventuresome life than 10 other men. I have had a tempestuous passionate lifelong love affair with a woman among women.

I was decisive. I usually had the last say.

Now I cannot choose the time, place, method, or circumstances of the end of my life. The second most important event in life. I am at the mercy of others. I am grieving my loss of decisions.

Commaful and my friends here are critical to my final days.

I feel I can still contribute. I feel that my hard won experience is valid here. I feel like my words are relevant. Your comments validate my life. I have never been in a more talented group

My grief is mitigated by my heartfelt thanks to you all

What I read here, what I write here gives incredible relevance to my existence. I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. Anyway, the part that is still mine.

I have faith the millennials will carry on the old values

I have had some concern about them literacy of your society. I doubted that another F. Scott Fitzgerald would come along. I know now there are enough to surpass the great ones of old.

This is not the end. It is the beginning.

Being able to express what and who you are is of inestimable value. I am so indebted to this community. I can never repay you. Thank you.

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