Somehow the world depends on paper upon which has been scribbled meaningless words. The planets seem to require this resource to remain in orbit.
Therefore, we mignons are assigned the task of placing drivel on this valuable cosmic resource.
There must be a manifesto by which those of us who are assigned this onus must operate in order to survive.
These next few pages will give you a great gift, Granddad's Rules of Paperwork, Essays, and Disquisitions of interest to no one.
1. Never turn in a required piece of paperwork before its due date.
Rationale: 1. It will be returned to you to revise and perhaps to be completely rewritten. 2. You will be given another assignment with the same due date. 3. It will be misplaced and you will be in trouble for not handing it in on time.
2. Never turn paperwork in on time.
Rationale: 1. You will be told that the requirements have changed. 2. You will be ignored and later told you are late. 3.You will be that they decided all your work isn't necessary.
3. Never turn in paperwork late.
Rationale: 1. You will make it abundantly clear that you don't care. 2. If the paperwork was that important, your boss will do it themselves. 3. You will have lost the power struggle between "ignore" and "give a shit"
Sleep easy, my children, and stop worrying about paper.