For @johnchang et al
For @johnchang et al stories

bernardtwindwilGranddad & story teller,
Autoplay OFF  •  2 years ago

For @johnchang et al

by bernardtwindwil

Helping is addictive

I used to be a bleeding-heart do-gooder. It appeals to our sense of empowerment and our desire to be the "good guy". The secondary gain is intoxicating.

Helping is empowering

When you help another, there is an implicit superiority in helping. You , the helper, are granted power over the helped during the period help is delivered.

But helping is enabling

The old aphorism about teaching a man to fish is bullshit. Neither a teacher or a helper be. Whenever you help you enable helplessness and dependence.

Your time is a limited commodity

You have a life full of demands on your time. There is family, school, job, leisure activity, and rest. You must not neglect those essentials to tend to the downtrodden..

The number of people you can help is finite

You cannot help everyone. Not everyone deserves to be helped. You have to select who will benefit most by your help. And who will be the most worth to society.

It's a tough call​. But it is your call.

Do not let others or your sense of guilt propel you into helping when all logic says you should not. It is a horrible feeling at first, but you will see the sense of it in time.

Triage your magnanimity

When doing charitable work you have to triage. Who will fail even if helped What others will benefit if you help just one? What amount of help can you afford to give?

Know your limits

You have to know when you are beyond your competence or you are required more than you can afford. Be it time, money, emotion, or skill.

Serve your family and friends first

Once you have helped where it is required, then you may have the luxury of helping others. Don't make helping your job if it is not your profession. Kindness is rewarding.

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