Stop being such an uptight sanctimonious tight ass
Have more fun give me more memories that make me laugh through the hard times.
Grade point average is not nearly important as your CPK
CPK is your cost per kiss. Kiss until you have a case of the 'blue balls'. Brush you lips against hers. Don't buy cheap unmemorable kisses.
A note of thanks
Thank you for not smoking. Thank you for not drinking alcohol. I wish I could say the same for pot, you freak.
Thank you for making me a man
Thank you for taking "NO" for an answer when a girl said no. Thank you for learning how to treat a lady when she said yes. Thank you for calling her the next day.
Thank you for never taking advantage of a drunk of drugged girl. Thank you for my sense of honor and decency.
Watch out for entangling relationships. Stay close to Family
If the chick is nuts steer clear. I know you will fall into the trap at least twice. Keep better track and in touch with your extended family. That will comfort you in your dotage.
Don't drive so damn fast.
You will wreck three gorgeous cars and two beat-up pick-ups. It will cost you some moral high ground with your sons.
Your children will think you're an asshole
Don't worry about. When they have their own kids they will think you are a fucking genius. Even though they say they never will, they will sound just like you.
You are going to meet the perfect woman for you.
Be ready. Be able to love. Do the right thing. Cherish her. Protect her. She thinks she tougher than she will be. Honor her and always be on her side.
Just one more thing..
I don't know for a fact, but I'm told that the pot is about 20 times stronger now. So hold on buddy. 67 more years and you'll be here.