A funny thing happened on my way out of the womb.
A funny thing happened on my way out  of the womb. stories
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bernardtwindwil
bernardtwindwilGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
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Live the life your mother warned you against. Be accountable for every act and thought in your life. Heaven or hell will be produced and experienced by you here and now as a result of your behavior. Protect the young from harm and be able to provide for your offspring. Do not participate in behavior that is inimical for the species survival. Be kind to all living things. You are parcel and part of the greatest and the singular event in time. Enjoy it through laughter., Laugh most at your own pretentions.

A funny thing happened on my way out of the womb.

by bernardtwindwil

First memory, Laguna Beach, CA

Warm painfully bright light. Salty gritty tasting crap on my banana. Funny looking furry thing that licked my face. Eight months old​ I am told.

My last bully.

Five years old, Paducah KY. Was beaten by the neighborhood bully, Craig, almost daily. Next door neighbor, Shorty Cross, ex-boxer, convinced me to stand up for myself and taught how to brawl

Could have been a cowboy.

Our ranch hands called me "Poco Vaquero". Saddling my own horse sinceI was 6 yrs old. Loved riding in the open. Being self-reliant. Being responsible to and for my animals.

Fear is not fatal.

Thinking that you are not prepared for a situation causes an emotional reaction we call fear. Fear is not bad. It serves as a warning. Do not let fear paralyze your brain.

Life should be led like a cavalry charge.

You only get one ride. It is here and now. There are no second chances or do-overs. In my senescence, I find that I regret the things I did not do and cherish the things I did.

Nothing is sadder than an old man with no stories to tell.

The older I get the better I was. Apocryphal tales of the past are one of the greatest gifts the old can give the young. If you live a life that generates no stories, you will be impoverished.

Your life partner is the ultimate valuable in your life.

We are a species that chooses a single life long mate. Keep it that way. The hurt from philandering is not religion based. It is physiologically and psychologically derived from our DNA.

Being alone and loneliness are different things.

Learn to be alone with you as your best friend. Look at you reflection in a still pond. That is the most reliable friend you have. Cherish, honor, and enjoy your own company.

Man's relentless quest for meaning.

​We have no other purpose or meaning other than the survival and continuation of our species. Anything beyond that is fanciful. Your life is filled with the ultimate meaning at your birth.

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