November Thoughts
November Thoughts commaful relay story stories

basharasweet Twt: @bashofgreen
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago

November Thoughts

I was sitting in my favourite café, sitting in a corner, staring out the window, and watching the snowfall that set in. With my hot chocolate in hand, I started to wonder. @darklyloved

The whispering leaves flew right by, leaving me to cry. Why—oh why… @H3LP

In my head I knew I did not need someone to make me happy. Yet still my heart screamed with loneliness. @tdog16

It had been a while since I had last talked to someone past the meaningless small talk or felt the warmth of another by my side. I huffed out a sigh, curling inward in my seat.

People rushed by outside the café, their eyes set on a goal, on their purpose. I looked on with envy, sipping my drink. @spinargote

At the edge of these feelings, I tried to realize that I did not need anyone. My independence is strong, I said to myself, I know how to make myself happy. @victoriaopoka

And then, just as soon as that thought had entered my mind and flew away like the amber leaves were floating outside, She was there—and I remembered exactly why I had dreaded this day, this meeting. @phantomhive0227

It was somebody I knew; but not any more. Somebody I wanted to hate; but I couldn't come to. It was Her! @H3LP

I took a deep breath calming myself down. Here goes nothing. @basharasweet

Anyway, I saw her standing at the counter making her order, the same as usual I guessed. I took another sip of my chocolate while I pondered on what might happen if she recognized me. @mitchel

She turned her head in my direction. I almost choked on my drink. “Does she recognize me?” I thought, wiping my mouth with my sleeve.

I shook my head, tried to direct my eyes elsewhere… No—no, she could possibly not… @potatoesarefab

Regardless, at the very edge of this thought, I noticed the soft space between her eyebrows' furrows and the moment of faint recognition lit her beautiful eyes. @phantomhive0227

“Mathew!” She gasped. "Oh my gosh! How are you? Where've you been?" My heart sank. She did not even recognize the pain that she had caused me. I had always been here waiting.

Waiting for her to enter into my life again, waiting for me to get the guts to say hello again.

But instead of showing my hurt, I simply answered: “Around.” Her smile faded. “Oh, well I guess I'll see you around.” She sashayed out of the café, taking my heart with her once more. @tdog16

This, then, should be the day to tell myself that since she stole my heart, I would steal hers.

That we would be partners in crime. Forever. @darklyloved

It should be the day on which I would realize I would never be able to love her the same or see her the same. @H3LP

A shriek, loud, all of the sudden! It was as if I woke up, the scenery rapidly changed, her figure faded.

A slight shock pulled me out the terrible labyrinth of thoughts around all those feelings long gone by.

Everything seemed to fall apart like a blind mirror, in whose innumerable debris I saw the pale reflections of my own mind, stuck in the wicked tricks it played upon my heart.

Reality set in.

I stared at the neighbouring table where I saw a woman yelling at the waitress,

complaining of the coffee she spoiled over her guest's dress and the waitress apologizing a thousand times for the incident.

That aside, nothing had happened. There was no meeting, there was no her. Not really. Obviously, I just had fallen to my vivid imagination, that all took place in my head and my head alone.

I was hit by my own reminiscences. There was nothing. Here goes nothing. @carlafischer

So I vowed to myself that I shall never give in to those thoughts ever again. I would find a way to heal.

For that day she left me in the café, it will be the day to remember, as it will be the day to build on. @tdog16

I finally put my thoughts into action. I am not afraid any more. I will not let myself feel the pain she forced upon me.

I removed all the unnecessary emotions I once felt and left the space for my growing.

There I will continue to grow, like my mother once told me: “Don't find your happiness through others, they will let you down. Learn how to make yourself happy.” @victoriaopoka

And nothing can truly ever be the same in life: Difference is what we make of ourselves. @H3LP

Focus and intention: That is all there really is to it. It sounds too easy but its simplicity no longer intimidates me.

What always has hindered me was the fact that the solutions to the most complex problems in life are as life itself is. They are plain. And simple. And pure.— @carlafischer

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