I just want to feel myself bleed
I just want to feel myself bleed suicideprevention stories
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badwriting
badwriting Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   2 months ago
'All I want to do Is pick up that damn blade.' Please comment if you're going through something similar to this poem. A common misconception is that self harm only comes in one form, cutting. THAT'S NOT TRUE! Bruising, burning, and any form of pain and bodily harm counts as self harm!

I just want to feel myself bleed

All I want to do

Is pick up that damn blade

And use it like scissors on paper

Finally I can breath, it's a f****** delight

All I want is to feel something

I'm so sick of being numb

When will this loop of madness end

Why can't it just be done?

Round and round

Over and over

Again and again

When will I be sober?

I'm addicted

To the feeling

To the rush of relief

Some days all I want is to see myself bleed

Then again what do you care?

What does anyone else?

People knocking on my door?

Because they want their own help.

All these people passing by

All these people, checking in

They just want my advice

They don't care that I've grown thin

No one notices the missing lunches

The bruises

The cuts

And if chance should have it,

If ever one does,

They don't even ask

They'll look, they'll stare,

Then they continue on

Speaking only of their own despair

Sometimes I think that's it others peoples problems

The fact that they all expect me to solve them

For f**** sake I'm a kid

WHAT do you want?!

I get it, I may be your friend,

But I shouldn't be only when it conveniences your taunts.

I know you're sad

But I am too

I have scars on my wrists

They're rather old new

No one ever asks

I don't want them too.

But not asking and not caring are different.

Don't you think so, seeing things through?

So days go and I'll just wait

Drowning in my despair

Being suffocated by my darkest thoughts

Like clouds they coat the air

And I'll just look at the scars

I'll look at the cuts

I'll continue to practice tying ropes

And throwing out my lunch

I'm waiting for the day

Like a bird in a cage

To be let go from my pain

Fly through the wind rain

I just want to feel

Why can't I just feel again?

I used to be okay,

SOMEBODY make this end!

So please tell me why I can't just be free?

Why is it that some days,

I just want to feel myself bleed?

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