I promised myself I would never face my past again. I forgot how bad I am with keeping promises. But I have to do this.
There are some things which you can never run from, you can never hide from... one of those things is yourself, the other is your past. Both come to haunt you time to time, and there is no running and hiding from that. This time again I have to confront the mistakes of my past.
It has been five years. I didn't know that never equals five years. Or maybe I can count in dog years to satisfy myself a bit. He left me shattered in so many pieces I didn't know how to glue them back together. I did although glue myself back together, but the scars are still there. The scars would never leave. The scars have been more faithful than he could
ever be. I remember his scent very vividly. I can know of his presence if even standing amidst a hundred people, all wearing extremely pungent perfumes except for him; I would still know he is there. I know he was there. I froze in horror as he walked towards me. His evil, elegant gait hypnotized me like it always does.
I ran away just as he approached me. He knew I was going to run away. His mouth started to form a smile that he couldn't fully repress when he came near me, for he knew I was about to flee. I am not scared, I am and have been traumatized. He is here to break me again. He is bored and needs some fun. I won't let him have his fun this time.
Help me, O Goddess, who dwells in thunder and rain. Help me, great Goddess, who lives under the doom. In your name unspeakable, I, your weak but loyal servant, sacrifices this butterfly sweet. Accept these innocent wings my ruler, I kneel before your altar in hopes of your unmatched wrath to fall upon the one who tortured your loyal minion.
O Goddess eternal, whose wrath oozes the poisons of a million serpents deadly, protect me from the danger which has befallen me once again. I put my head that your hands glued back to my neck, on this mantle. I call ask for your help and I burn my feet with this red coal, the feet that your mighty hands glued back to my legs, and the legs that you stitched back to
my torso.... I beg for your protection from the one who has my dismemberment in his eyes, again. From your unholy ground, I take this clay and make myself whole. In your temple's rancid air, I caste the spell on the monster that I fear, to never see me again, never hear me again and never touch me again.
And if he ever does, may your wrath avenges my state; and shreds him to pieces so many that not even you can put him back together.