ONE PIECE - The Eccentric Exploits of the Egregious Strawhat Pirates in Alabasta (Prologue - Part 3/4)
ONE PIECE - The Eccentric Exploits of the Egregious Strawhat Pirates in Alabasta (Prologue - Part 3/4) one piece stories
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azartborg
azartborg 25. Swede. Anime addict. Arakawa-fanatic
Autoplay OFF   •   20 days ago
So much prologue for a film that no one's gonna make.

ONE PIECE - The Eccentric Exploits of the Egregious Strawhat Pirates in Alabasta (Prologue - Part 3/4)

SANJI and the GREEN-HAIRED MAN land just a few meters away from MISTER FIVE 2.0 and MISS VALENTINE 2.0. SANJI - his face contorted in rage - turns his head to take in the two.

Suddenly his eyes explode into hearts.

SANJI

Goddess!

MISS VALENTINE 2.0 looks at him in confusion, before raising her four swords (each gripped by her skin in an impossible way) and charging at him. Her charge is stopped by the GREEN-HAIRED MAN.

Four swords meet two.

GREEN-HAIRED MAN

Four swords style, huh? This might be fun after all.

SANJI

YOU'D LAY HAND ON A WOMAN, SHIT-STAIN?!

Sanji lunges at the GREEN-HAIRED MAN only to be struck mid-air by the clawed battle-gauntlets of MISTER FIVE 2.0.

MISTER FIVE 2.0

(furious)

I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU INSUBORDINATE JOKERS IGNORING ME! TASTE THE POWER OF THE BAROQUE WORKS' FIFTH RUNG!

It's all-out war on The Incinerator. The GREEN-HAIRED MAN dodging cuts and gracing MISS VALENTINE 2.0 with his own. SANJI using his legs to shield himself from the blows of MISTER FIVE 2.0.

USOPP putting anything that fits in his slingshot and firing it at the enemy. The FURRED MAN jumping between his three forms to cause mayhem. VIVI and BEAKY fighting back to back.

And then there's NAMI, who keep making new trips down below-decks of The Incinerator and emerging with new barrels, chests, weapons, documents and the like and putting them on Going Merry.

The Strawhats all seem to be, well... enjoying themselves.

MALE VOICE (O.S)

AH! Now THAT was some good grub.

The battle instantly dies down at the sound of the new voice, faces turning in the direction of it.

Emerging from below-deck is a YOUNG MAN in flip-flops, shorts, a red shirt, a strawhat and the world's largest smile on his scarred face.

MISS VALENTINE 2.0

That's him. The rookie with the 30-million-belin bounty. Monkey D. Ruffy.

MONKEY D. RUFFY takes a look around, welcoming each face - familiar or not - with the same big smile.

RUFFY

So, what'd I miss?

MISTER FIVE 2.0

Kill him.

Instantly, thirteen Billion sharpshooters turn their guns at RUFFY and fires. Each bullet finds its mark.

Ruffy is dead.

RUFFY

As if.

The bullets literally bounce off him, flying into thirteen different directions. Ruffy - still smiling - appears unharmed.

The eighty Billions still conscious and their two Officers stare at Ruffy, their mouths open.

What the...

MISTER FIVE 2.0

K... Kill him again.

BILLION 1

Cannonball the fucker!

BILLION 2 (O.S)

(at the top of his voice)

CANNONBALLING THE FUCKER!!!

They cannonball the fucker.

The cannonball finds its mark, digging into Ruffy's gut. Digging really deep. Way too deep.

Digging through Ruffy's entire body and down below-decks, before being sent back with the same force, destroying the cannon it came from and blowing the cannoneer to hell with it.

Ruffy is still unharmed and still smiling, though his shirt appears to be slightly, er, on fire.

The jaws of the Billions and their Officers can't drop any lower.

NAMI (O.S)

Yo, Ruffy, I'm finished! We can head off now!

RUFFY

Great job, Thief!

NAMI

Navigator.

RUFFY

Whatever.

Okay crew: let's head on out!

And with that Ruffy starts towards Going Merry without a care in the world.

GREEN-HAIRED MAN

(sheathing his swords and heading after him)

And I was just getting warmed up and everything.

MISTER FIVE 2.0

Hey wha... HEY!!!

WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING, STRAWHAT?

Ruffy turns and gives him a confused look.

RUFFY

...Home?

Ruffy waits for a response for roughly half a second and then carries on, even beginning to whistle.

MISTER FIVE 2.0

HEY!!!

RUFFY

WHAT?!

MISTER FIVE 2.0

MY ORDERS ARE TO KILL THE LOT OF YOU AND HAND OVER THE PRINCESS TO PATRON!

RUFFY

(without turning around)

Sounds dumb. You're dumb. Dumb-dumb.

Dum-de-dum, treasures are fun

Don't need weapons, my fist's a gun

MISTER FIVE 2.0, gone half-mad in fury, lunges past SANJI and the GREEN-HAIRED MAN, straight at RUFFY, who neatly dodges and punches him in the chest. MISTER FIVE 2.

0 gags, but quickly composes himself and slices with his gauntlet. Ruffy dodges anew.

RUFFY

Gum-Gum-WHIP!

In an impossible move, RUFFY's leg stretches eight meters long and delivers a kick to MISTER FIVE 2.0 and four Billions who were unfortunate enough to be standing too close to the fight.

The Billions all fly away, and MISTER FIVE 2.0 is knocked into the main mast and gags.

RUFFY

You done?

(again waiting half a second for a response)

Crew. Heading out. Yes.

Ruffy turns 180deg degrees and once again moves towards his ship.

MISTER FIVE 2.0

Just... who... the hell... do you think YOU ARE?!?!

MISTER FIVE 2.0 throws a punch with his gauntlet. Fired out of the gauntlet are five throwing stars.

Three of them get RUFFY in his right arm, the other two hit his strawhat and pins it to the railing.

Ruffy stops. He is staring at his strawhat, his back still turned to MISTER FIVE 2.0. He appears to be shaking.

MISTER FIVE 2.0

Is that it, huh, Mister Thirty Million?!

Once you've shed the tiniest amount of blood you cave? Pathetic weakling! Did you seriously think that you could survive the Grand Line?

! Did you seriously think you could defy the Baroque Works and live to tell the tale? Huh?!

RUFFY

(whispers)

...my treasure...

MISTER FIVE 2.0

What's that, Strawhat?!

RUFFY

That hat... was a gift...

Given with a promise...

(turns to MISTER FIVE 2.0, eyes filled with rage

No one touches my hat!

Gum-Gum...

MISTER FIVE 2.0

(gets into battle pose)

Just try it, Strawhat!

MEGA GAUNTLET CH...

RUFFY

...PIIIIISTOOOOL!!!

With an explosive force RUFFY's arm extends, sending his fist straight into MISTER FIVE 2.0's face.

RUFFY's arm rolls back into place.

MISTER FIVE 2.0 stands perfectly still.

MISTER FIVE 2.0 stands perfectly still.

The FURRED MAN emerges, now in his smaller form and carrying a medical kit, from which he produces a stethoscope. He presses it to MISTER FIVE 2.0's chest and listens intently.

FURRED MAN

He's dead.

Beat.

The Billions and their remaining Officer stare in disbelief.

RUFFY

Whoops. I went too far, didn't I? My bad.

(turns to the Billions and MISS VALENTINE)

Sorry guys!

They just stare at him.

SANJI appears, grab RUFFY by the scruff of his neck and begins dragging him in the direction of the Going Merry. The other Strawhats also move in that direction. Their job is done here.

It takes a couple of seconds for MISS VALENTINE 2.0 to somewhat regain her composure.

MISS VALENTINE 2.0

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR YOU BUFFOONS?!

DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY!

But Going Merry has already set sail with all its crew members and two guests on-board, seemingly celebrating (SANJI is handing out hors d'oeuvres, the GREEN-HAIRED MAN bottles of booze).

MISS VALENTINE 2.0

AFTER THEM!

BILLION HELMSMAN

Miss Valentine, something's wrong, the rudder doesn't respond!

NAMI (O.S)

Looking for this?

Leaning against the railing of the Going Merry, a smiling NAMI is holding a mechanism clearly designed to communicate between the wheel and the rudder.

MISS VALENTINE 2.0

Wh... She...

NAMI

Oh, and thank you for this!

NAMI is holding a LOG POSE, the word "ALABASTA" printed on it.

MISS VALENTINE 2.0

She... That...

NAMI

And I do apologize for that.

NAMI is pointing at something behind The Incinerator. The day has been calm, but from nowhere there are now dark clouds on the horizon.

Large waves clash against the ship's hull, the wind is tugging at its sails...

BILLION HELMSMAN

Miss Valentine, we're heading straight for a Grand Line storm!

MISS VALENTINE 2.0

(staring at Nami with hate and disgust)

Why, you...

MISS VALENTINE 2.0 AND THE ENTIRE CREW OF THE INCINERATOR

YOU SOULLESS BITCH!!!

The Incinerator is engulfed in the sudden, vicious storm.

Going Merry, meanwhile, is sailing towards the calm horizon.

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