Your heart was silent for 24 seconds. I didn't believe you were gone and at that time everything was normal.
That silence was confusing me. Where were you? Was it the end of world?
I laughed and laughed. Telling others to laugh as well cause you were kidding us.
But a tear slipped down my cheek. My eyes believed and shed tears for you.
I saw your icy body, your colorless face and my face went blank as well. So I believed.
I couldn't breathe. There was no air left for me, you had taken all.
The inferno went on and on in my heart. It hurt like hell. A part of me was gone and it hurt.
The pain was conquering every inch of me. You never let me suffer, but I was suffering because of you. With you I'd never pined, never cried, but I was pining for you.
The darkness said hello instead of your never-told goodbye. And I said hello as well.
Open eyes saw what close eyes would see.
A hole was inside me and no one could pour it. It became an abyss and I fell into the abyss of love with you more and more, deeper and deeper.
I shouted your name, days and nights. I looked for you everywhere. I saw you in everybody. I wanted to find you again, find that missing part of me.
I wasted my young tears on you. You took my youth, my happiness, and gave me nothingness.
I was dead but still breathing. You killed me.
Anger and fury overshadowed my life. I teared apart every letter you'd given to me. I deleted the pictures of you. I burned everything you'd bought for me.
I watched the sparkling flames of it and became paralyzed. I was paralyzed for some days, weeks, and months.
I wanted to talk to you, wanted to hear you again. I imagined you. Walked with you. Ate with you. Slept next to you.
And you appeared in my dreams. You smiled at me in my dreams. You stretched your arms to hug me in my dreams.
I hated to open eyes. To wake up. To see the sun. But I loved nights. I loved watching moon and winking stars. I loved the silence of night.
I felt guilty for I didn't say "I love you" more, for I didn't take your hands more, for I didn't. I didn't...
You were gone and I believed it. You didn't even say goodbye, but I dared say.
I stepped into the brightness of sun again, I watched the sunset in the shore again, I talked to people again, but without you.
You became a memory I would always smile at.
You are my only memory.
By R.F. AZA