Christmas Eve
Christmas Eve past stories
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atlas I'm a terrible writer but here we go.
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
Learning how to be okay. Surviving another day. I was 16 when I wrote this. I'm 18 now and I'm still alive. I'm going to be okay.

Christmas Eve

You were ready to give up. You didn't know what to do. You chose the most logical choice. You wanted to live but found no reason to stick around.

You wanted peace but believed you didn't deserve it.

You wanted happiness but struggled to hold onto it.

You wanted to feel love but didn't know how to express it.

You never imagined an age 16.

13 You love parts of yourself.

You hate the rest.

You love others even if you can't express it properly at times.

You are 16.

You want to live.

You want to keep fighting.

You still struggle everyday.

But you aren't hanging off a cliff.

You will be okay.

You will make it another day.

You have made it 3 years.

You will make it many more.

You tell yourself this is not my last day.

Even if you don't believe it.

You have to make it.

You will because whatever it is you tell yourself right now, you will be someone.

You will make it through.

You will be okay.

You are going to be okay.

You count. You matter. You're enough.

You see yourself imagining the day you wake up happy.

The day you feel safe and loved.

With no doubt about it.

You imagine yourself feeling happy and smiling on Christmas Eve. Peaceful.

One day you won't ask yourself "What is wrong with me."

One day you won't feel alone.

Until then, you are going to make it. You are going to be okay.

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