"When are you gonna talk to me again?" "Would you think about staying with me on summer break?" "We can share this life. It's better than being alone."
"I'm not leaving you alone until you talk to me." "Do you think I'm okay? I miss you."
These texts go on and on.
I wonder why I am so cold to her. Then I realize. It's not just her that I am cold to. It's everyone.
I have no idea what love is. Not even friendly love.
I remember her hurting me over and over again. It wasn't just her. They both did. Unintentionally.
And I know that it wasn't her fault. It was just something she had to live with. But this doesn't change the fact that she hurt me.
So, I built up walls around me and I forgot to leave a space for the door.
Now I only have one small window from which I see outside.
I see the sky with its stars. I see the moon and various plants with amazing colors. I see people.
But whenever I feel like I can get closer, my walls stop me. I just never get to feel them. I just never get to feel whole.