I scare the hell out of myself
I occasionally fuck things up and hurt people who are close to me
I get so stressed out at night that I turn into a monster
I fall down with exhaustion and fear
in those times I have an angel who picks me up with compassion
When I tell her that I am a monster she says "You're a beautiful one, you'll be fine."
I don't know if I believe her. Maybe sometimes.
But could what I believe change the reality?
Could it take my pain away?
I have another angel now, you see.
That's why I am scared even more.
Because I can't afford to hurt him. I can't afford to show him what I really am.
I am so scared that maybe I shouldn't have even taken the first step.
Maybe I should just turn my back and start running away
from my angels from my demons from my first love and from all of my fears