you fall in love on a sunday morning when you wake up tangled in sheets
with her eyes peeking up over her phone, soft smile on her lips.
it’s rare for you to wake up so early
but with the warm sunlight beginning to filter in through the blinds
painting her with gold tiger stripes,
you find that she’s better than any dream your mind could create;
she whispers good morning, but it’s hard to hear over the pounding of your heart.
breakfast is quiet with still sleepy eyes
and shoulders bumping together as you reach for your favorite mug.
sometimes, the two of you work up the energy to cook breakfast,
pancakes and muffins and bowls of fresh fruit,
but it’s mostly cereal and and the sound of spoons hitting bowls
while your feet knock into hers beneath the table.
it’s been a long time since you felt so peaceful;
she’s always brought out the best of you.
your first date is a picnic in a flower field
far enough from home that you aren’t afraid of your parents finding you.
she carries the basket and you set down the blanket, brushing your skirt as you sit.
she presses kisses to your cheek as you unpack the basket
laying strawberries in her hand as she leans her head on your shoulder.
there is something soft inside you now,
something she gave you.
your heart has never held so much love.
you love a girl made of sunlight: warm and comforting and chasing away the dark.
sunlight doesn’t last forever.
as wonderful as the day may be, the sun must always set.
you love her. she loves you.
these are facts made true through countless mornings together and quiet dates in parks
and curling together under the blankets unable to focus on the movie with her hand in yours.
she carries her own shadows and hides them from the world.
you can’t help, no matter how much you wish to.
so you kiss her forehead and brush away her tears;
letting her go is the hardest thing you will ever do.
you love her, and that is why you don’t hold on.
the girl of spring who made your heart so full is falling apart
and when she walks away in search of healing,
your heart breaks for her.
you are alone and empty.
the rooms once so bright are empty and quiet.
you haven’t eaten much for the past few weeks.
every part of you aches for her and the warmth she gave you.
you wish you could hate her for leaving but
you can never regret loving her.
you wake up sunday morning to rain and a cold bed.
everything is grey and dull.
you pull the covers back up and go back to sleep.
there is no more sunlight left to pull you out of your dreams.