lately, I've been thinking about the past;
all that hourglass sand slipping out between our fingers no matter how hard we tried to hold on
(to each other)
remember when we were in middle school, late at night, lying side by side in the dark,
drowning in the intimacy of sharing a bed with someone so dear, too young to name these feelings but holding them regardless.
we never faced each other, too scared to cross that line, but there was a fire burning in every place we touched,
hips and hands and shoulders and calves
and I thought,
This is what light envies, this constant gentle burning;
We could outlast millennium if you wanted us to.
(sometimes I thought you wanted us too.)
in the years we've been apart,
I like to think that I'm someone who could love you even more.
truth is: I don't know you anymore.
but I miss the memories we made, and how your touch lingers in them.
all those summer days spent painting each other's nails and sharing ice cream from the same cone.
how soft it was; warmer than the sun. no summer could ever compare.
if I say I miss you enough, will you come back?
drive into town with a new haircut and a different shade of lipstick a voice that's still light, just older now.
(will you come back? will you come back? will I?)
curled up on my bed at 2 in the morning, I think of every night we spent together,
too young to know we could have been more, but wanting it anyways.
I hope you'll remember me with grace.
I hope you'll still have me in your dreams.