Chum Starts the Day (C1)
Chum Starts the Day (C1) funny stories

artlessboogiman Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   3 years ago
There are many ways to be arrested, cover blown, and job start in one day. Leon just did not expect balloons filled with chum would start that day. But who would?

Chum Starts the Day (C1)

“No matter what you say, I have no regrets.” Red and blue lights painted the environment, accompanied by sirens, people gruffly discussing the situation from a distance.

Onlookers slowed their cars as they passed causing a soon to be hellish traffic jam.

“Really? No regrets?” he hissed, the sirens nearly deafened his overly sensitive ears. The whine thrumming painfully in his head, Aiden shifted uncomfortably in the backseat of the police car.

The handcuffs mercilessly digging into his wrists as he moved. “Nothing? This will never be one of those things you think back on and cringe?”

“Nope.” Came the inappropriately chipper response. A grin stretched Charlie’s face when she saw the officers heading to the car they were shoved in. “Ooohh! Look, we’re going home!”


First of all, this was not Aiden’s idea. He thought Charlie was preparing to leave for one of her famed adventures, and do his job tracking her.

Instead what he got was being arrested as an “accomplice”. Helping Charlie throw balloons filled with chum at the neighbor’s house down the street.

What that woman has done to invoke Charlie’s wrath was unknown to Aiden. He just may ask that when they reach the station, unless they are put in separate cells.

Most likely if that happens he will quiz her after.

The faint scent of chum becoming more prominent let Aiden know of Charlie leaning closer to him. “Once we get there I need to ask something that you have to answer truthfully.”

“What?” snapping his head to Charlie, she gazed out the window like nothing happened, for a hot second, Aiden thought it was all in his head.

He could feel his hands sweat, jittering his right leg and biting his lip. He wondered what she could possibly want to ask. It can’t be good if she wants the truth no matter what.

Just then, a small amount of pressure presented itself on his jittering foot. Pausing his movements, Aiden realized the pressure came from a sneaker.

Following the sneaker, up the leg, body, to the face of Charlie. The dark circles surrounding her eyes brought out the concern that filled them even more.

“Why are you nervous?”

“I’m not, I’m irritated.”

Charlie rolled her eyes at him. “Your leg is jittering.”

“In irritation.”

Charlie shook her head in disagreement. “You’re nervous. I can feel your nerves.”

“My what?” Absolute confusion painted Aiden’s face. Glancing in the rearview mirror, his eyes met the questioning ones of the driving officer.

The clicking of the door being opened drew Aiden’s gaze away, Charlie slid her way out of the car with practiced grace while Aiden nearly tripped on his own feet several times trying to get out.

Dragged in, checked out, and tossed into a cell. Surprisingly enough, Aiden and Charlie shared a cell despite the fact it was clearly a slow day at the station and nearly every cell was empty.

Charlie took no time making herself comfortable in the dull space. Jumping onto the creaking cot, she snuggled into the musty smelling mattress perfectly content.

Aiden gawked in amazement at how at ease she was. He heard the rumors that this wasn’t her first rodeo with the police.

That she was on first-name basis with almost every staff member of the police station. A part of him never really believed those rumors, until now.

Time passed slowly, according to the clock upon a nearby wall an hour went by. During that hour Aiden spent his time studying Charlie. Her golden blond hair was a fuzzy mess upon her head.

Heard-shaped face was in complete peace as she slept. Faintly chapped pink lips were partially open, occasionally moving as she mumbled her sleep.

A light tap on the bars called for attention. An officer placed his baton back into his belt once he had Aiden’s attention. “Called your parents, can’t come get you tonight.

The boys will bring you a cot and blankets for the night.”

“What about Charlie?” Here the officer cast a sympathetic look to the resting girl.

“No one will pick up or contact. She’s stuck with you tonight.” The disbelieving expression on Aiden’s face caused a small snort from the officer.

“Don’t worry, she won’t bite you. Unless you make her angry, th-“

“Then I’ll be covered in chum?”

“No, Worse.” With that the officer left. Leaving Aiden alone once again. Well, not really alone.

“Here I thought he’ll never leave.” Blue eyes snapped open, a golden blur darted to the iron bars, her eyes seemed to eerily glow.

Aiden awkwardly sat on the cot facing her, waiting for her next movement.

Satisfied that no one was around, she regarded Aiden for a few minutes. His jaw clenched and unclenched, shifting his narrow face with each action.

Charlie tilted her head when she noticed how Aiden’s nose leaned to the left slightly, a small bump followed the curve.

“Two questions. How did you break your nose and who are you?”


With a roll of her eyes, she crouched before Aiden, slowly pronouncing each word as if she was talking to a child.

“How did you break your nose and who are you?”

Aiden looked too innocent for her liking. His icy blue eyes comically widening and his pale, thin lips silently echoed her words. “I broke my nose is a fight and my name is Aiden.”


“W-what do you mean I’m lying? Cha-“

“You’ve lied too much Sir, no one would have answered those questions as calmly as you did.” She took a few steps back from him. Eyeing him as if he would jump her any second.

“I’m not lying about my nose! Nor am I lying abo- “

“Aiden is not your name! Your nose is true but your name is a lie! I feel nothing when you lie.” Her voice quieted by the end of her tiny rant.

Hugging herself, Charlie seemed to brace herself for whatever will happen next. For a few seconds, he stared her in absolute confusion before finally responding.

“Are you Jasper Cullen?”

A surprised snort escaped her. “What did you just say?”

“You were talking about feeling things when I lie. You also mentioned how you could tell I was nervous.

Can you feel feelings or something? Like Jasper?

” She was not sure whether it was the dead serious expression on his face or how ridiculous the question was that made Charlie laugh as hard as she did.

Charlie’s body violently shook, tears streamed down her face, and the redness painting her face faded as she begun to calm down.

“I take that as a no?”

Wiping the tears from her eyes and taking deep breathes she answered him. “Body language Sir, simple body language.”

“Oh.” So, she is just good at reading body language? That made sense, probably using her skills to be a “psychic” or something.

“What’s your name?”

“Are we on that again? I’m telling the truth.”

“No, you’re not.” Charlie sighed in dismay. She took a spot next to Aiden, resting her head on his shoulder. Aiden could practically feel disappointment roll off her.

For a few minutes, all Charlie did was dramatically sigh, Around the tenth time of her doing it, Aiden was done.

“Leon. My name is Leon.” He barked, glaring at the blond girl, now splayed across his lap. A victorious grin showed her teeth gleaming back at him.


Leon shook his head. “Get off.”

Charlie perked up, propping herself up with her forearms “Will you tell me your last name if I do?”


“Then I’m staying. Goodnight.” Flopping back onto his lap, she made herself comfy. It didn’t take her long to fall back asleep even though she just and an hour nap not even ten minutes ago.

Groaning in defeat, Leon leaned against the wall staring at the water stained ceiling. His eyes begun to burn from staring so long.

When sleep invited him in he took the invitation happily, pleased for at least a few moments rest.

Something banging the metal bars jolted Leon out of his sleep. Wiping his eyes, he focused on the blurry shape of the officer he talked to last night…looking pissed as hell.

“You sure as hell one kind of a tracker. Ain’t cha?” Squinting at the guard, still trying to wake up, Leon gaped at him is bewilderment.

Leon’s voice was groggy from sleep when he spoke. “What are you talking about?”

“Your little job decided to take a jolly ol’ walk right out of the station.”

“Charlie?” Leon bolted up from the cot, quickly scanning the cell and under the cot, as if she would magically appear. “How? How did she get out? The cell is still locked!”

“Damn girl is tiny enough she can slip right through the bars. Got it on camera too, see?” A tablet was presented to Leon.

the camera angle showed only a little of the cell, the rest was a blocked by a neighboring cell.

But sure enough, a black and white Charlie poked her head between the bars, checked for no one nearby. When she noticed the camera, she smiled playfully, gesturing something to the camera.

Then slipped between the iron bars like a cat. Happily skipping to the exit, opening the door to the outside world she disappeared from sight.

“We still don’t know what the hand thing means. W- “

“Watch this.”

“Excuse me?”

“She’s sighing ‘watch this’. The girl knows sign language. She knew the camera would catch her.” A growl rose form the back of Leon’s throat, his body tensed as anger coursed though his veins.

She was right there. Right in his damn lap and she still got away. He could feel the anger at his own stupidity boil, bubbling, hissing, threatening to overflow burning all nearby.

Breathing deeply, Leon tried to calm the boiling rage fogging his thoughts. One thought hit him like a ton of bricks.


The officer shrugged the question off. “We searched the whole place, nothing.”

Turing around wildly, Leon searched the walls for anything, occasionally running his hands in hopes something hidden may fall.

Nothing turned up, it was not until after tripping on the cot during one of his spins did it dawn on him. Grasping the cot, Leon flipped it over...nothing.

"Let me out." the cell door creaked open, granting Leon his freedom.

“Whelp Boy,” the officer slapped his hand on Leon’s shoulder as he passed. “Guess your real job starts now. Get her back.”

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