Lonely Things (Title)

                Lonely Things  (Title) writing stories

arivers610 Just another hopeless writer
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
You can tell how depressed I am by how many things are in my bed.

Lonely Things (Title)

Here are the things that are in my bed right now

My hoodie the thing I wear around the house all the time and now I wear it out because I can't be bothered to put on "real" clothes the ones people wear when they aren't depressed

A notebook that I keep right beside my head just in case any of my thoughts spill out in the middle of the night

A pen to write them down to remember the times when I can't breathe or sleep or eat or think

A bag of pretzels because I don't have a normal eating schedule I grab for them when I think I need to eat I grab for them at 2 in the morning while I watch movies I've seen because I need to know what's going to happen I don't want any more surprises

A box of tissues that were full a few days ago but now they're not because I'm sick and I keep them close because I don't know when the sickness will come sometimes I'm listening to music and a lyric gets caught in my throat

sometimes I see two people admit there love for each other sometimes I see a girl with a group of her friends they're laughing and I'm crying

A book that is heartbreaking, relatable and empowering to read but I haven't touched it in days because my heart is already broken I don't want to read about myself and there's no way to give myself power because my batteries are dead and I lost the charger in this fucking mess

A binder filled with papers and assignments that I should be thinking about I should look at them I should care but I just don't anymore my college told me that I'm choosing the worst time to withdraw from my classes financially and if I could just hold off my

complete mental breakdown for another week that'd be great and oh sure I'll just tell my existential crisis to come back in a week because I'll be ready to deal with it then but until that happens I have to push myself out of bed and smile at people and talk and not think and talk and hand in assignments and not think sit on the bus and not look

sit in class and think about class and not the fact that when I go home I will have no one to share my day with no friends to talk to and joke with and send stupid memes to in a group message because I don't have a group anymore!

I'm not a part of anything no plans include me my name is absent from their list Nothing is waiting for me expect my bed and all these things

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