Murder will be responded to with lethal force.
Public hangings ARE NOT ALLOWED
Please leave the hobos alone, they deal with enough stress as it is
When applying for a job, you must be honest about your criminal record and/or background, or you will face jail time
Any act considered to be a "public annoyance" will be treated as a crime and will face jail time
Dragon flying licenses are required for all commercially flown dragons
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FLY DRAGONS AT 88 MPH!!! THEY DO NOT GO THAT FAST, JOHNNY!!!
All blue items, people, etc. are ILLEGAL!
Any enforcer of the Blue Law MUST be colorblind!
All new cults have to be approved by the city council in which they are founded
All dragon eggs sold for commercial use must be approved for sale with a permit to be renewed each calendar year
All dragon eggs sold for commercial use may be altered in color ONLY, with the addition of a second permit, also to be renewed each calendar year
No making un-authorized explosives
You have to drink what you ordered from the bar
Write when you used the bathroom and the time
Don't look at guards directly in the eye
Eating too much is illegal
If the graveyard in a town is full, it is illegal to die until a new graveyard is made. If you die anyways, your body parts will be sold
It is illegal to sell dragons
Dinosaurs have never existed. Any evidence shown that dinosaurs existed is hidden and the person is jailed for two weeks.
If you know eight or more languages, you can be hunted for sport.
People should not be taller than 7 feet
It is illegal to drink a lot of alcohol (especially YOU, Johnny!)
Sharing food is prohibited unless it is during winter
Revenge is illegal
Holidays must be celebrated inside
Toast offerings are a valid form of communication:
A perfectly toasted piece of bread indicates the utmost respect and reverence for the person receiving the toast
Giving a burned piece of toast is an invitation to duel
Giving a piece of toast with peanut butter is how you ask for a favor
Giving a piece of toast with cinnamon & sugar or honey is how you propose marriage to another; this toast can only be given after at least 50 hours of intentional
and meaningful eye contact courting
When married, if one of the partners in the marriage tears the marriage toast, it counts as a legal divorce.
When apologizing, offer a piece of bread that is so lightly toasted that it sags slightly, because really apologies without actions are as empty as that piece of fake toast
If you intentionally or accidentally murder someone in front of their family, you must offer toast to each affected family member every day until they are no longer sad
When you see a child under the age of 10, you must smile (genuinely) at them, or risk their unlimited anger.
Remember -- children under the age of 10 are invincible, so there is no way you are going to win that fight
White roses cannot mix with red roses
After winning a prize, you must do a dance
Every Tuesday is Taco Tuesday, and anyone who denounces it or forget to eat tacos on that day risks jailtime. ------is there vegetarian tacos??????
Every day at 3 a.m. and 3 p.m., all magic is outlawed for an entire minute.
Even though the color blue is outlawed, you must wear blue once a month or face dire consequences
If it rains a cat or dog or any other animal and you happen to catch that animal as it rains, you are then required to keep and care for that animal until its natural death.
Don't be stupid
Picking flowers is illegal
Don't drink too much (Johnny! That means YOU!)
If you want to enter the forest, you must bring a gift for the forest before you are allowed to enter or pass through.
When holding a cat for the first time you must praise the cat while addressing it as sir or ma'am
Always talk to squirrels. They are very lonely.
Public fights with witnesses result in the winner of the fight owing cupcakes to all those in attendance who witnessed the fight.
Speed walking is illegal.
There is a centuries-old feud between Dark Elves and all other Elves (including Half-Elves), but it has been so long that no one remembers really why they're fighting anymore.
Gnomes under the age of 50 can be legally adopted (with or without notice) by any other humanoid creature.
You may only display public affection in the form of direct eye contact.
Roleplaying in public is forbidden, and anyone caught doing so will be given a reality check
All people under 5' 4" are entitled to a free ladder and a pair of stilts courtesy of the government; all people over 5' 4" are entitled to "bragging rights"
Anyone caught being in a bad mood are to be taken to the town hall where they will be given the following treatments: coloring book therapy with crayons, teddy bears, stress balls, slime,
therapy animals, fidget spinners, a picture of a dwarf with a "cool" beard, bubble wrap, building blocks, a blue or yellow blanket with a pillow and bed mat, and/or direct fire from a 12.
7mm M2HB Browning heavy machine gun using .50 calibur incendiary rounds. The coloring books are only to be used as a last resort.
If you disobey a direct order from your guildmaster, well... no one really knows what will happen, but it isn't advisable.
If there's a Blood Moon during "The Event" ("The Event" happens once a year), and any person dies or is murdered, then that deceased person automatically turns into a titan-sized zombie.
Good luck. ------------i don't like zombies period.