"it had us in the first half, not gonna lie"
Like everything that's new, the shine of the start that captures us, it eventually always wears off.
Each of us has a grain of distrust in our resolutions every new year, and that small wrinkle eventually wins over.
It shouldn't be a surprise how a new normal dragged from exciting to monotonous to unbearable.
Situations and people tossed together had some inevitable consequences in lives of the privileged to not be loomed by the shadow of the disease itself that is around every corner.
To all of us who could be engulfed in the luxury and the warmth; of our loved ones, of our homes, of our pajamas ; the relaxation somehow turned to boredom.
In situations like this, we had heightened senses, and we focused on how different our needs we're, how different people we truly were.
With prospects of travel thrown out of the window, and that of "moving out" to any where smothered on the face of our dreams, for better or for worse, we had to come up with creative solutions,
with better ways to exist, for this to hurt less. You get that much needed soul solitude, the feeling of being in control of ourselves, and our space.
The nitty gritty of our daily schedules, the lifecycle of a work from home - physical distancing paradigm, where at last now it should be normal to want solitude, and to be with yourself enough.
The idea of normalising a disconnect from the constant moving to a collective idea of "forward" - the reality of wanting the disconnect but also knowing that one isn't in any sense "alone".
Allowing that space - that liminal identity - acknowledging that need - that, is the new normal.