My eyes snap open. Pain fills me and I begin fumbling for the way out. It is here somewhere. No time...I can feel Him close by. His whispering reaches me.
Are you not enjoying your stay here? Are you sure you want to leave? You have gotten worked up before but you never actually do anything so maybe lie down for a bit and we'll talk this over.
I laugh, partly at myself and partly at Him. NO I WOULD NOT LIKE NOTIFICATIONS AT THIS TIME and YES I AM SURE.
My hand grasps something metallic. Could this be the time I make it out? Yes! It's a knob. Could this be the time I finally get to see it, the radiance I have only dreamed of? Inching closer, both hands now.
Could I really leave Him behind?
I pull the door free and fall back screaming, blinded. The force so powerful. It attacks relentlessly. I writhe on the floor in agony, cursing what I had always hoped for.
I crawl forward and slam the door. Darkness. Darkness surrounds me and I smile, sighing with relief.
There is no place I'd rather be than here, in solitude and silence. I get up and check the door to make sure it's locked. Just me and my Oldest Friend. He beckons to me. Stay, sleep.
There is nothing out there for you. There is no need to ever wake again. You remember Me. I've never abandoned you. I've been here all along.
And when I sink into His arms I am plunged into numbness. It feels good because it doesn't feel bad. That's all I can really ask for. My eyes slowly adjust and I finally begin to see.