Why am I hurting so much right now?
I feel a raging ocean behind each eye waiting to be let out like a waterfall.
I feel a noose around my heart squeezing and squeezing and it hurts to breathe.
There's a hurricane in my mind.
Whistling wind throwing my thoughts each and every way.
Torrents of rain drowning everything inside with nothing left but a howling silence.
I feel a dam in my lungs blocking my breath, shutting me inside to suffocate on every word left unsaid.
I feel a blizzard making its way in, shivers wracking my body, turning me blue, and I can no longer see you.
Purple hands, frosting feet, is there really no one out there who cares enough to help me?
There's a cork in my mouth stopping every word I wish to say, shoving all the things you need to hear away.
Shoving my useless thoughts and emotions down to the grave.
No one will ever experience the torment of emotions I feel each and every damn day.
From blistering anger to a depthless bleakness.
From numbing cold to shining hope.
From bright smiles, to a frozen frown.
Everything is turning upside down, and there, I see you.
When I'm crushed to pieces, that's when people see how much I've been hurting.
That's when they realize that they never saw how much they bruised me when I've been helping them so much.
Because no one cares about me.
I'm like the dirt under their feet, and nothing can appease the darkness waiting to swallow me whole until I'm gone in a six feet hole.
Down, down, where there's no escape, because you can't run away from your own brain.
These emotions surround me, tangle me in their nets, shoving its way down my throat, until I eventually explode.
Darkness leaks out of me like a spilt bottle of ink.
Shadows leap out of me, devouring me, until I'm nothing but a husk of what I once was.
A pale, skeletal being with no life to live beyond underground.
Beneath the earth where all the dark shadowy things roam.
And it's here, where I'm all alone.
Nothing to see but bleak unending dark as far as the eye can see.
And this is where I deserve to be.
No one would notice if I left, like a falling autumn leaf before the frozen winter hits killing everything in its path.
The leaf shies away on a wind only to be swept close to the oncoming storm of crystallized flurries that burn when it touches the leaf.
Holes punch through it, leaving it in tatters before it's shoved to the ground and buried beneath thousands of pounds of snow.
The snow melts to reveal the leaf hidden beneath, and it shakily rises to its feet to be blown once again to the other end of the earth.
Settled atop a mountain it dives off, spinning, twirling, the ground rushing up, closer and closer, and before it hits, its only thought is, why didn't I think of this before?