January 2020 - first week after winter break
January 2020 - first week after winter break I starved myself. And I thought, wow. Great New Years resolution. My mood was off, irritated easily, yet no one seemed to notice. But it's better that way, right?
January 27 2020 - Sunday before MLKJ
January 27 2020 - Sunday before MLKJ Billie Eilish released her song "everything i wanted". Idk what happened but it triggered me somehow. Don't get me wrong I love her songs and never experienced this before. It's not her fault. There's just something wrong with me. -->
January 27 2020 - Sunday before MLKJ I cut myself after, in the confines of my room, blood dripping down like fireworks on the fourth of July.
January 28 2020 - MLKJ day
January 28 2020 - MLKJ day This was the worst day in my life. I was completely numb. I could barely move. I didn't talk at all, didn't eat, and didn't exercise. I hit the worst of my depression.
January 29 2020 - school
January 29 2020 - school No one noticed my mood. That I didn't talk let alone smile. They went on with their day like everything was alright but it really wasn't. I wanted to tell someone but they'd either judge me, change the way how they looked at me, or simply not even care.-->
January 29 2020 - school So I never peeped a word. The next day, I went back to normal.
This is different as you can tell. I think I'm going to start writing down the worst of my depression in a diary like entry. I'll still write poems though when I start feeling things that I can't control. Again, don't read if you aren't resistant to triggering