Each evening I sit on the roof facing into her bedroom window and watch.
Sometimes she brings someone home, and I don't get jealous, I really don't, I just feel sad. I've told myself I should just go, ring the doorbell, talk to her like a normal person. But I can't.
So instead, I spend my time, trying to figure out what makes her tick, what excites her, or calms her down.
I used to get a thrill out of it, but she'd go to sleep a hundred times, never once seeing me there outside her window. I realized that I wasn't about to get caught.
But I was still hooked on watching.
Then the same man kept showing up, at first every few nights, then every night. Then not at all.
I kept watching, waiting for him to come back into her room. I hadn't seen them fight, but she hadn't always come home either.
So I kept watching, waiting to see him again. When I did, he was walking towards me on the roof, looking directly at me.
So I looked back at him, and said,
"She killed you too, huh?"