"People like me... Well, we make the world stop."
And you probably thought that I hated you.
Avoiding every question you threw.
Acting like eye contact was torture.
Like a sentence spoken to you might kill me.
Diving away when I saw you approaching.
Pretending like I couldn't care less about how you were feeling.
Always sighing before replying, "I'm good. How are you?" like it was such a chore.
I still remember the time someone told me you were trying to get my attention. You said, so very certain, "She knows; she's ignoring me."
And yet you still tried to break this unbreakable shell.
Persistent like a thorn in my side.
A thorn I didn't necessarily want to be rid of.
Though the last thorn was very easy to get rid of.
I remember when you asked with a smile, "Do I annoy you? It's OK if I do." You sounded convinced this was the truth.
And I'm sure you've rarely found someone whose heart you couldn't squirm your way into.
So I must have been... what? An odd exception?
Everyone else yelled your name with excitement when you arrived.
While I grumbled it incoherently.
I'm sure you've never felt someone so bitter towards you. Because no one could possibly hate you.
When you asked if I was annoyed by you, I smiled and walked away.
The answer was "No. I could never be annoyed by you."
I'm sure it seemed like "Yes! Leave me alone already!"
This is why you probably thought that I hated you.
I wouldn't blame you for thinking such.
But I honestly loved every damn word you said.
Every hello, Every goodbye, Every "How are you?" Every "I'm doing alright."
But you have to understand.
I can't allow myself to get attached to someone so vibrant.
When I'm so dull.
You shouldn't have been so nice. It made it hurt all the more when you were gone, off to who-knows-where.
You know, I told my family that I hated you. That I loved working mornings because you weren't there.
But I hated working mornings... because you weren't there.
I complained about every second I was forced to spend with you. I hoped I could convince myself and other for a while. That I didn't enjoy your company or your smile.
People like you make the world go 'round.
And people like me...
Well, we can't possibly live up to people like you.
You may think this is a confession of love, but this is just a confession.
That I don't hate you...
Even though you probably think I do.
I wish I could give you this message and brighten up your day with a compliment of my own.
But I simply can't. Because I'm not you.
So... What I'm trying to say is that I don't hate you.
Even though you definitely think that I do.