The dream I had last night is still messing with me. Its as if my subconcious is saying that Im not tortured enough.
Most here know that my husband and I are trying to start a family and not having much luck. I think about it so much its even invading my dreams.
Last night I dreamt I was in a hospital room waiting to give birth. I remember looking in a mirror and seeing my big belly and I even remember feeling the baby move.
Nothing was happening so I decided to take a nap with my husband to try and rest before the birth. I woke up from the nap to find blood everywhere in the bed.
I could still feel the baby move so I called for help. Before I knew it, the staff had come in, cleaned up the mess and it was as if nothing had happened.
I looked down and saw that I wasnt pregnant anymore. I asked a nurse where my baby was and the nurse acted as if nothing had happened. Nobody could or would tell me about my baby.
They could help clean up the physical mess but not the emotional one. I woke up with my womb still feeling empty and worse about my lack of luck conceiving than Id had in a long time.
I hate this.