I wish I could make myself like this guy. He is the only guy that even slightly wants to be with me. No one else wants me or has ever wanted me.
Why don’t I feel even the slightest bit attracted to him? Kissing him made me want to puke but I feel like I have to kiss him because no one else will ever want to. I want love so badly.
I have had such strong feeling for guys who barely even want to be around me.
Why can’t I get myself to want to be with him? I wonder what it would be like to kiss a guy I was actually attracted to. I felt nothing when this guy put his arm around me and held my hand.
There was a time when another guy did this to me and I felt sparks just from his touch. I wonder if I would’ve felt the same sparks if he kissed me.