today was just one of those days i just felt really sadi mean i made plans to go to valleyfair with a friend of mine since she’s never gone,
but she’s always pretty busy so i mean i was telling myself that something would probably come up because that’s usually what happens when i ever make plans.
so she sent me a message at like 10:30 (we were gonna leave after noon because she had a final to do) saying she won’t make it because she has to take her mother to urgent care.
and i mean, it’s a good reason, and i told her it was fine because her mom is important and i’d rather her mom be taken care of and we could go some other time. but i still feel sad.
like the day was so perfect today, and i just don’t know what to do when i go outside so when i make plans for valleyfair or something with friends, i feel better because i’m not alone.
i just kinda sat in front of an open window in my bedroom for a couple hours cross stitching in the sun because i didn’t want people to see me outside even though i want to go out.
i wish i didn’t have social anxiety and could just do whatever the fuck i want outside. i thought about going biking, or a long walk, but i just couldn’t will myself to do it.
my body just sorta told itself to wallow in sadness while the sun shined outside. i miss when i was a kid and i had so many friends and we’d just live outside. sad