At age 16 Denver Holland was depressed.
Denver was six feet tall, with medium length brown hair, in a sort of Emo fashion, he normally wore a shirt relating to his favorite television show: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic,
with blue jeans, and navy blue Nike shoes.
I knew there were worse things in life than what was happening to me, yes, but I was tired of Lee saying that to me.
Lee Cooper was five foot four inches tall, had short brown hair that fell to the bottom of her neck, with shimmering blue eyes, she wore a hoodie every day, with blue jeans, and black sneakers.
Living in Colorado, two-thousand miles away from me.
I had met Lee on January 1st, 2014, through her best friend Terri Porter.
Terri Porter stood at five foot seven inches, she was constantly dyeing her hair so it was always different every time I saw a picture of her.
She had beautiful green eyes, and dressed rather nice every day.
I knew instantly that I wanted to be with Lee, she was beautiful, she was shy and hideing her face, which I thought was incredibly cute.
This was over a video chat, so I didn't really get to know her, I never really did after that either.
I started to talk to her on a messenger app called "KiK" she became my best friend almost instantly, we started dating that night.
We were very happy together, around March 10th my 15th birthday, I told her I loved her for the first time, she made me very happy by saying it back to me.
Fast forward a few months, Terri hates me, I never found out why she hates me, to this day I'm still confused.
I was always sad I couldn't tell my parents about Lee, because they would tell me something like "Denver, you know that could be a 50 year old man, right" then take my phone away.
I never risked it, this was my first mistake while dating Lee.
I became clingy, I wanted to talk everyday, video chat every weekend, to her it got annoying, I never listens to her about it, I was incredibly selfish with her, this was my second mistake.
Fast forward again to October 6th, 2024, the absolute worst day of my life, after months of talking about marriage, and having a family, Lee dumped me,
I fell into a deep depression after she started dating another man.
I annoyed her, pestered her, at times we acted good as friends, at other times I pestered her for hours to talk to me, she started blocking me on social networks,
I made new accounts to get her attention, I know she doesn't like me, she says she does, but at times I don't believe her, she got mad at that. I would cry over her about every night.
She never truly cared.
Around December 2014, I got suicidal, this was my third mistake, it made Lee feel like she had to talk to me or I would kill myself, it was true, if she had left for good, I would have.
But I kept pestering her, so she stayed, she wasn't happy talking to me, but I didn't care, she was there, I felt safe with her, I was happy.
I was very selfish, I only wanted what made me happy, and every time she chose to do something else i threatened suicide, she stayed.
Present day, April 2015.
We still talk, I'm still suicidal, we are friends, at times I feel as if we aren't, Lee says we are, but, I'm not to sure, she no longer video chats with me,
she no longer wants to meet me In person, I'm still in love with her. Two-thousand miles away, a two-thousand mile heart break.
I'm still suicidal, April 5th, 2015, I researched "Fast, painless poisons" I found no results, Lee was sad, I constantly wish I could die, wish I could leave,
get away from all the women who don't love me back, away from hell, away from all this depression, and sadness.
But I can't.
I don't know why, I think it's the possibility of the smallest chance of getting Lee back in the future, unlikely, very, for two reasons, she doesn't really like me,
that's what this story was all about, and two, she is constantly questioning her sexuality, so this would make it rather hard, I'm so deep in love with her,
she likes to call it "an obsession" which is probably true, I'm so obsessed with Lee I contemplated getting a sex change, just to be with her, crazy I know, but, I love her, forever.
I am depressed, almost all the time, I try to push forward, try being the keyword, but I always get stopped by my emotions,
this poorly written story was made so I could pour my emotions out, but they will be back, I know they will, I've done this before, but with poetry, it's helps for maybe a month, then, yeah.
And yes there are much bigger things happening in the world than one emo teenagers relationship problems, but like I said, I'm a selfish piece of shit.
Thank you for reading this, I KNOW ITS POORLY WRITTEN! I wasn't trying to make an award winning story or anything. Just a small thing about my true love that I lost.
Hope you somewhat enjoyed it.