This just happened, but here's some backstory:
On mother's day, we went to my brother's place up in the mountains, and his dog and ours went running through the woods.
Later, I pointed out a bug crawling across the floor.
"Oh, gross. A tick." my nephew says, before smashing it into oblivion.
"Yeah, you might want to check your dog when you get home. They're likely the ones who brought them in."
So we get home and scour our girl for ticks, because one of those little shits is the last thing we want.
But dammit, dogs have a lot of fur! How the hell am I supposed to find one, even if it's there?
So we called it good, and figured if one shows up, we'll notice.
Fast forward to today.
As we were getting in bed for the night, I noticed she was licking a spot just inside her hind leg. Also, she had seemed more lethargic than usual lately.
I thought, 'Maybe we should do another tick check, just in case.'
Our room is kinda dark, so I turn on the flashlight on my phone, and have her roll over so I can check the spot she was licking. Sure enough, I see this little black fucker attached her belly.
I run into the bathroom and grab the tweezers. I go back to her, hold her down, and try as I might to pinch that bitch off.
But, shit! It's embedded deep!
And my poor girl is yelling and crying and wriggling like crazy!
So I get her up on the bed and turn on the overhead light so I can see it better.
That's when I notice another tick.
...and they're all lined up...
That's when I realize, they weren't ticks.
They are her nipples.
TL;DR was trying to de-tick my dog, almost de-nippled my dog.
Good thing dogs are forgiving.
Edit: To clarify, her nipple is fine, albeit mildly tweaked.
Also, I forgot to address the lethargy comment. She's getting older, and my wife and I started running outside again for the summer. I was just being cautious (maybe a bit too much so).
And yes, I know I'm stupid.
[Bonus pic!] (https://i.imgur.com/uBDKH2z.jpg)