So, I am 23 and a new English teacher. I look like a kid myself, and I'm barely 5'1" so I always try my best to be professional. I want my students to take me seriously.
I don't think they will after today.
I was reading an Emily Dickinson poem to my class of 10th graders, and I got to the line that says "Shuts the door--to her divine majority," and I got tongue-tied in the worst way.
Here's where my students lose all respect for me.
Very loudly I said, "Shuts the door to her VAGINE-" and cut to students falling out of their chairs howling with laughter at me. I just sat down. I gave up.
I literally have no idea how I replaced "divine" with "vagine." How?! It will haunt me forever.
Perhaps the worst part? I sent a kid to the principal two days ago for screaming "Penis!" while going over answers in class. On his way out today he high-fived me and said, "Mad respect."
EDIT: Aw, snap! Front page! So far, none of my students have called me out for posting this.
Also, some people are super upset that I sent Penis Kid to the principal.
Trust me, I am a pretty chill person, but some kids (especially huge teenaged boys) like to test the limits of the teacher who looks like a seventeen-year-old girl.
It was mostly a warning shot because he had been causing some major issues. He got a slap on the wrist and has been an angel to me since then. ;)