Been in the academy 3 months, we have to wear baseball caps that say "POLICE ACADEMY" on them whenever we are outside. When we go inside we tuck the caps into the back of our pants to hold them.
I ate mango habanero wings at BDubs last night and had explosive diarrhea this morning so I decided to poop before going into class.
Went to the stall, pulled my pants down and spewed lava for 20 minutes. When I was done I stood up, turned around to flush and noticed something under all the shit.
Then noticed the words "POL", was confused for a good 30 seconds before it hit me.
Drill instructor yelled at me for being outside without a cover, asked me why, and instead of the usual "no excuse sir", I told him. He laughed for 5 minutes, first time I've ever seen him smile.
He gave me a new cover and told all the other instructors who now call me "shit head".
TLDR: dropped hat in toilet without noticing, explosive diarrhea, drill instructors call me shit head now.