My room mate takes forever in the bathroom. I was desperate to do a giant poo, and held on for as long as I could.
The situation was about to hit critical so I went outside with some tissue and squatted in the corner of my yard to do my dookie. It was tremendous, such a large poo. Believe me, it was substantial.
The highlight of my day. I then dug a little hole and buried it so it wouldn't stink up the yard and attract attention, particularly the attention of my room mates pet dog.
A few days later I came home to find a trail of dirt and leaves inside the house. Then the smell hit me. His dog had dug up my poo and brought it inside and was eating it on the living room rug.
I yelled at my room mate that the dog had pood inside and was eating it - he apologised profusely, then cleaned up my poo.
TL;DR - i pooed outside, the dog brought it inside to eat, made my room mate clean it up.
Edit - hello internet friends, I am glad that you enjoyed my poo story. To clarify a few things
1) my room mate was moments away from discovering his dog eating my poo anyway - I didn't have a chance to step in and clean it up, thus becoming the hero I wanted to be.
I panicked, then decided to make the most of a shitty situation...ha.
2) it was very large. I have wondered what he thought of the dog : human poo size. His dog is a large mixed breed, but still. Thankfully, it has not been mentioned and I remain innocent.
Perhaps I will tell him on my deathbed.
3) to the people accusing my story of being FAKE NEWS you are clearly part of the lying media. Sad! No, for real tho, it happened. No alternative facts here. I am guilty.