Last week my girlfriend and I went on vacation in Stowe, Vermont. We decided to go for a walk. As we were walking, we came across [this large open field with a stage in the middle of it.
ME: Oh they must have weddings here. This is really neat!
***She points to a bunch of flower petals on the ground***
HER: Oh yeah! Cool!
***I start humming that classic wedding tune as we walk hand in hand down the field***
ME: da-da-DA-DA da-da-DUH-DA!
***We finally get to the stage, which is empty aside from two chairs and a small box.***
ME: Woah, a ring box! Someone must have left it here.
***I bend down to pick up the box. My girlfriend stands in COMPLETE SILENCE looking shocked.
On one knee, with a ring box in my hand, I open the box facing my girlfriend to reveal-- an empty ring box***
ME: See? Huh, too bad it's empty! Still pretty neat though.
***I suddenly realize everything I just did and what it must have looked like***
ME: Oh....Oh...Shit. Sorry.
HER: I hate you.
Oops. I ended up keeping the ring box though...it was pretty neat.
**EDIT:** To make matters worse, this is literally the fourth time something like this has happened.
**Time #1:** Last Christmas I made her a DIY kit and individually wrapped all of the parts (yarn, glue, stamps, glitter, cards, etc...).
I wanted her to open up the smaller gifts first because I was really excited about some of the big stuff.
She asked me what she should open first, so I grabbed the smallest box I could find (it was just a rubber stamp...
the size of a ring box) and jokingly said something like "I know it's what you've always wanted"...Oops.
**Time #2:** Our friend had just returned from the International Space University in France (it's a real thing).
He graduated at the top of his class and they gave him a medallion in a jewelry box. I called my girlfriend into the room with the box closed and said something stupid and yeah...Oops.
**Time #3:** My girlfriend started an etsy shop so I had a custom stamp made of her logo.
I was excited to surprise her with it and ended up texting her the day it came in: "I have a big surprise for you when you get home!".
When she finally got home I told her to close her eyes and put out her hand...Oops.
***TL;DR:*** The Universe game me the perfect proposal and I shit all over it.
**EDIT #2:** Woah-- She isn't going to leave me...she knows how much karma I bring to the table. No way she's gonna' let ***this*** go.
**EDIT #3:** [She left me.](http://i.imgur.com/dS9Utgw.png)
**EDIT #4:** loljk. Her seeing [stuff like this](http://i.imgur.com/JMtYVgx.png) has warmed her numb little heart more than breaking up with me ever would.
**EDIT #5:** ITT -- People who have never dated a rational human being with a good sense of humor.
**EDIT #6:** We are engaged
**EDIT #7:** Oh, sorry. I accidentally hit **save** too soon. What I meant to say was *"we are engaged in debate over which of the four fuck ups was the worst."*...Oops.
**EDIT #8:** She said yes :)