Today I fucked up by having a cracked iPhone screen
Today I fucked up by having a cracked iPhone screen stories
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anon
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Autoplay OFF  •  6 months ago
So this literally happened 24 hours ago... hang with me on this one. I posted yesterday, but because of crappy formatting it was removed after 10 minutes. So.. resubmitted:
By AlbusSeverusKnox https://www.reddit.com/r/...

Today I fucked up by having a cracked iPhone screen

by AlbusSeverusKnox

So this literally happened 24 hours ago... hang with me on this one. I posted yesterday, but because of crappy formatting it was removed after 10 minutes.

So.. resubmitted:

I go to a religious school, and it has a rather large church that we attend on Sundays, so a lot of time I browse Reddit.

Past week I finally decided to make an account so I can upvote and comment and that sort of shit.

Anyways... here's the story- I'm cruising old Reddit posts on /r/AskReddit under the top rated section, and reading the comments.

I find the funniest comment to me for some reason which was "Nothing puts me in the mood to fuck a pregnant stripper like Squidbillies.

" So like a normal guy, I copy paste it to send to my friend down the row who is also on Reddit.

But instead of iMessage, I have to hold it and send it as a text bc his data is off, whatever.

But because of the cracks in my screen I accidentally pressed "Speak" which is next to "Send as text message"

Then proceeds Siri's voice- echoing over the dead quiet sanctuary, down the balcony and off the walls: "NOTHING PUTS ME IN THE MOOD TO FUCK A PREGNANT STRIPPER LIKE SQUIDBILLIES"

And 300 people all around me turn to see my face- red from embarrassment and eyes with tears because of how funny it actually was.

So..

this morning after my first final exam I get a call slip to the Administration office and assigned 75 demerits and having my enrollment threatened if I let my phone scream

about inter corse with pregnant strippers again.

Fml

EDIT: ayy thanks for the gold kind stranger!

EDIT EDIT: it's a college and the church has maybe 6000 people in it

EDIT a-freakin-gain: [here is proof that you can actually make it "speak" for all the haters or there ](https://imgur.com/gallery/YEgA8)

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