Today I fucked up and almost died in the most hilarious way possible
Today I fucked up and almost died in the most hilarious way possible stories
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Autoplay OFF  •  8 months ago
Not today as per usual. But 18 years ago. I had moved to California a few years earlier. A few blocks away was a grocery store. In that store was a toy section. Back then.
By jasundead https://www.reddit.com/r/...

Today I fucked up and almost died in the most hilarious way possible

by jasundead

Not today as per usual. But 18 years ago.

I had moved to California a few years earlier. A few blocks away was a grocery store. In that store was a toy section. Back then.

1998? It just had an assortment of coloring books and some "squeaky" toys. Rubber animals you would squeeze to make a noise. I would grab the "squeak" thing from those toys.

They are the size of a pill or vitamin. If I placed it in my mouth and pulled it to the back I could talk while making a stupid noise.

One time heading back to my friends after grabbing a fresh squeaker I accidentally chortle\ snorted and inhaled the thing. I'm behind the store now ready to hop the stone wall back home.

No one is around. Nor will there be til the trash is dropped at end of night. So I'm choking. But instead of a gasp its a loud squeak. Reeeeeet, ruuuuuh. I'm grasping at my chest.

Reereet, ruuuh. My vision fades and a fall down on my back. This dislodges the squeaker with one more loud REET. After a moment on the ground I get up and go home.

Deciding I'll never take a squeaker again.

Edit: Only to say thank you all for the laughs you provided me too.

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