Once upon a time, in an age before clocks, there lived an octopus named Shteev.
In her youth, she had been part of a cruel experiment that left four of her tentacles useless while making the remaining four more robust,
and so from that time on hid her worthless appendages under a top hat she wore each day.
Fearing further underwater experiments, she made her dwelling on land rather than in the sea through the use of a special snorkel and a strict diet of fermented egg yolk.
Unsure of her new life, Shteev decided to look for a job to give some stability to her otherwise tumultuous existence.
Her rather odd appearance, however, ruined any chances of landing a decent career.
With nowhere else to turn, she put all her effort into a desperate attempt to get a job at a jellybean factory.
Her hard work paid off, and she was employed as a behind-the-scenes jellybean taster so as to not scare the other workers.
Once she tasted the vomit-flavored jellybean, though, her whole life came crashing down.
The specific chemical composition of that particular flavor activated something long-dormant left over from the days of the experiment,
and her kindness and compassion were instantly overwritten by cruelty and malice.
In accordance to her programming, she slaughtered all the landfolk with her bare tentacles, dumped all the jellybeans into the sea,
then took off her top hat and hung herself using her limp appendages as rope.