TO DO or NOT TO DO stories

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Autoplay OFF   •   3 years ago
*footsteps* *twist the knob*
By Namingo


by Namingo


*twist the knob*

*opens the door*

There lies an empty chair upside down who saw my son grow up from a candy loving sweet kid to a benign adult, Today helped my son to HANG himself.

It must have been so painfull for that disconsolate chair to help this irreproachable kid.

Who it saw from childhood growing at adagio pace everyday , always there for him even if he throws it in frustation or when he cried while siting on it,

maybe this chair witnessed my son crying last time today or maybe it was just a stampede of emotions which the chair couldnt understand.

maybe the chair could have stoppped him but the vacuous rules of nature and society left the chair impotent and just a spectator to slow, agonizing process of asphyxiation,

and the finale of a human life.

you must be thinking why i am talking about a chair and its inanimateness feelings.

i dont know

i dont know anything

i can't feel anything, maybe im trying to vicariously feel something through this chair , maybe this chair im writing about shows the plight im in.

i dont know

i dont know anything

what does a man do after his wife and his baby girl are killed in a "road accident"and his only family left , his son commits suicide.

i dont know

i dont know anything

maybe you can help me justify the oxygen im borrowing from this world who snavelled my whole world from me, because right now

i dont know

i dont know anything

you must be thinking why did i used "" for road accident above

i dont know myself , ask the local detective who is not sure if it was a road accident or a rasping murder by victim's perfidious husband and a 12 years old other victim's father.

How can a guy who loved his wife for 21 years and still love her even if she is in the heaven probably waiting for her husband with that gracefull smile and that amiable body.

It doesnt matter how much i was aching , her hug or just touching her.

I was lost , i was lost in her prodigious world

i dont want to come back from her world

*A drop of tear lands on the sheet of paper which hitherto have become an ocean of tears and emotions*

and how can a father even ponder an idea about ending his 12 years old girl's life .

This high tensile father-daughter bond made by only pellucid love and that illusory detective tells me that bond is nothing just an object with a price tag..?

maybe you know how does it make sense because

i dont know

i dont know anything

*turns his damp paper*

Suicide,never knew what it meant. For me it was just a way how we purge moronic, non-courageous libalties of this earth .

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage but does that mean that my son , the only bright light of my dim life was a milksop..?

How can a person whose probablity of even getting a life is less than the chance of winning the largest lottery in this preternatural world, can just give it away ...?

is it the gamble people take , that this earth we live in is hell and after life there's nirvana.

Is our life equivalent to some chips which we can stake in a game of roulette

maybe it does not make any sense Or for the first time in my life it all make sense.

Maybe my son was not a coward. Is there a chance that he was called by his sister and mother...?

would i get that final call also..?

Maybe no one wants to commit suicide because they are stupid or not thinking right , they just want to stop that endless treacherous running pain of not being with their loved ones.

Is suicide's a man way of saying to god "fuck off boss , you cant fire me - I QUIT"

perhaps suicide is the way for me to meet my family again ,to live gain.

Breathing is not living you can sure write it down as a fact ,

seeing my son still hanging there so peacefully it gives a despairing father some hope that conceivably he's with his mother and daughter safe and sound ,

rooting for me from that place people call heaven

"commom dad



DO IT! "

should i .??

should i do the thing which i loathe from the start ..?

why did you do this son ,

coudnt you just talk to me ..?

i was you father , I AM your father

were you so alone ...?

why dont people think that killing themselve doesnt solve all their problem and pain but all they are doing is passing it on to those who they leave behind...

as i write this on one of my son's notebook

The chair keeps staring at me

does it hold me responsible..?

its 7:30 in the morning

in 15 minutes the maid will open this door , will she find 2 bodies

if not give me a reason why she should not ..?

i guess you dont have one right ..?

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