“Trick or treat!”
Demon will knock up a 14 year-old-girl and get sent to prison for statutory rape. I’ll give him some chocolate.
The Witch will be committed to an institution up-state. That’s what they do to “disturbed” girls who get nightly visits from their stepfather. The orderlies will have fun with her too.
I’ll give her a lollipop.
The zombie is going to die first. He will distract his mother while she is driving because his iPad won’t work. Their SUV will roll over a dozen times.
Zombie’s mangled body will be pulled out of the wreck in three pieces. How fitting! I’ll give him some red licorice.
“You kids look great!” I say pleasantly as I hand out the candies. “Happy Halloween!”
Every Halloween, it’s the same. My home is a popular stop because I give out the most candies and I have the most variety.
If only they knew the truth…
“Trick or treat!”
The kid dressed as a Ghost will OD on his 17th birthday. I’ll give him some Rockets.
The kid dressed as Batman will score too many DUI’s and lose his license. He won’t care; not even after he kills a family of four. I’ll give him some jawbreakers.
“Here you go kids. Enjoy the candy!”
The visions only come on Halloween. There hasn’t been a single Trick or Treater who will not die a horrible death or who will cause harm to someone else.
And each year my visions get worse...
“Trick or Treat!”
Ooh….here we have an Angel who’ll be shot at point blank range by a jealous ex-boyfriend whom she hasn’t met yet. I’ll give her some corn chips.
Next kid is a Vampire. His life is actually pretty decent up until he lets himself go and gives himself diabetes from too much weight gain. He’ll die a lonely man. All 300 pounds of him.
I’ll give him some Tootsie Rolls, just to get the ball rolling…
The next kid however…. A cute little girl with rosy cheeks. She’s wearing an old-fashioned dress with a cloak and is carrying a basket.
“I’m Little Red Riding Hood!” the girl said as if answering my confused look.
“Oh I know what you are…” I state as I look at her more closely. I couldn’t see her future. She was – in all essence of the phrase – a clean slate.
I smiled and handed her a candied apple which she gladly took and placed in her basket.
“I made that myself,” I stated. “Been saving it for…someone special...”
I know what you all are thinking.
Don’t worry, the apple is safe. It’s not poisoned. Nor did I stick any syringe needles or razor blades into it like you hear about in the news.
The little wooden stick handle however, has been coated with special resin. A contact toxin of my own design.
Little Red Riding Hood will come to appreciate Halloween the same way I do.