The Suddenly Girls?
Sure, I knew them.
They roamed this school back when I was a student like yourselves, before I became the janitor here. Their names were Eliza, Beth, and Liz.
As freshmen they tried going by “The Three Elizabeths,” but to everyone else they quickly became “The Suddenly Girls.”
Well, at first they only irritated people. By the time they were seniors, however, they were hell on heels.
When they sashayed down the hallway with their chins high and their hips rolling, other students would dive for cover as Eliza, Beth, and Liz strode past like demonic supermodels.
Pity the poor loser who didn’t pay attention and stood in their way, for without pausing as they came up from behind, one of the girls would say something like:
“And then suddenly, Ryan’s books were all over the floor.”
Then the girls would jab Ryan with their elbows as they swept by.
Making someone spill his books was the least of their offenses, but that was how they operated, see?
One girl would suddenly call out an evil idea, and the other two would automatically pitch in to make it happen, almost like they shared one mind.
Whether it was random or something they prepared, they lived for cruel pranks.
“And then suddenly, every second floor locker was filled with glitter.”
“And then suddenly, the stairs and handrails were coated in WD-40.”
“And then suddenly, right before the holidays someone put dead fish in the vents.”
Sure, they got into fights. They got yelled at, reprimanded, and suspended. But The Suddenly Girls always took revenge, and their revenge was always devastating.
They went to such extremes that even the teachers learned not to cross them.
Me? Yeah, they even played a nobody like me once. I was in the library finishing an algebra assignment when they appeared out of nowhere, fawning over me like nymphs.
“Like my new necklace?” asked Eliza, exposing her cleavage.
“And my tattoo?” asked Beth, sliding her jeans down her hipbone.
“How about my perfume?” asked Liz, bending very, very close.
My eyes bulged. My mouth sputtered. My virgin teenage brain imploded.
The girls just laughed.
“And then suddenly,” Eliza said as they moved away, “you were alone again.”
And I was. Alone, and mysteriously missing my algebra paper.
Small wonder that after years of acting like monsters, The Suddenly Girls were found dead. I expect you kids have heard the stories. About Eliza, suffocated in glitter.
Beth, cooked with WD-40 and a lighter. And Liz, gutted like a fish.
Their murders are still unsolved, but I have my suspicions. After all, I took this job right after graduation, to save up for college.
It was only available because the old janitor ran off before the police could question him. Makes you wonder, eh?
Well kids, you better get to class. But do me a favor?
Try to avoid making messes.
Remember, janitors are people too. And everybody has a breaking point.