Apparently the venom was more potent than others I have encountered throughout my campaign.
When I regained consciousness my head was throbbing to the beat of my heart like some sort of tortuous music.
But there is one good thing about experiencing pain even if it is of such great magnitude. And that singular benefit is the reassurance of a life intact.
At this point, it might not be intact, but it has not yet been entirely depleted, which is more than what most could say who have walked my destiny’s path. At some points I can’t believe it myself.
Having seen men who,
I sincerely believed to be greater than I immolated before my very eyes as I stand no more than a mere cubit away has a weathering effect on even the most hardened of warriors’ morale.
I have no explanation for my good fortune other than fate or possibly divine intervention.
However, after seeing the acts of men in the heat of and aftermath of battle and knowing what they are capable of I find it hard to believe Gods or any God’s existence.
Sometimes I think it would be worse if these deities aren’t fictitious characters thought up by our ancestors to explain a natural world they could never comprehend.
Many of the events they watch over are atrocities executed by abominations of men. If these beings were as omnipotent as the masses are lead to believe they would never allow these events to unfold.
That is, of course, assuming these beings are just. My confidence in that had been waning for many winters now and will likely soon be expended completely.
As much as I wish I could forget the day in which the foundation of my faith was cracked I am cognizant of the fact that it is part of what makes me who I am today.
It is a strange kind of appreciation that I find difficult to put into words but feel obligated to emphasize its importance.
The priest had assured me that there was little to nothing to worry about, yet I was more worried than put at ease by his words.
This was probably due to the fact that this abundance of confidence is typically only seen of kings and fools. It was that day that I was never more desperate for the existence of Gods or a God.
It was also the day that I was never more confident they didn’t. (412)