On the eve of what will be four years, my God how has it been four years… It’s so easy to be sad…and I am sad.
I’m more than sad, I’m a word that hasn’t even been created because no one could bear to utter it.
It’s crazy to remember the moments from four years ago, 48 hours’ worth of minutes that I will never forget, but my goodness the things that have happened since.
The glorious, fantastic, and downright phenomenal things.
Four years ago we lost you.
Three years, 11 months, and 2 weeks ago my best friend took me to a bar to get me out of the house and out of my head.
And it was that night that she introduced me to the man that I would, not too long after, end up falling completely in love with.
Three years, 10 months, and a week and about a half ago, which was actually on your 57th birthday, we found out you were getting your first grandchild.
And Leah’s pretty much the best thing that has ever happened to us.
That is, except until 8 months and about a week ago the other best thing that ever happened to all of us came along, and we call him “Anthowee”.
Two years and 2 weeks ago, your baby turned 30! And about four and a half months ago, your first born turned 35…where is the time going?
One and a half years ago I moved to New Orleans, you always knew that wanderlust was just a part of my soul, but you also know I always find my way back home.
One year, one month, and 2 weeks ago I got my master’s degree! But then about 6 months after that I realized I wanted to be a nurse, just like you.
I know I should have listened to you in the first place. So 7 months ago I enrolled in my first real science class since I was 17 and I’m on my way.
About 8 months and a week ago, you got a new nephew named Nathan who you would just get a kick out of.
There’s been Maine, and the beach, and Ben moved but he’ll be back soon. And you left us with this strange man named Bruce, but we’ve decided to keep him around.
I ran my first 10K and now onto a half marathon. There’s been new cars, new apartments, new houses, new jobs, new friends, holidays and birthdays and at least one kinda bad haircut.
There’s been moments when we’ve laughed so hard that we’ve cried, like when Jenna thought she learned a new fact about lion’s teeth or when Becky got bit by that fish.
We’ve also cried so hard that we almost washed away…at least I know I did.
It’s been four years and in the blink of an eye it’ll be four more. How we all keep doing it, I’m not quite sure.
Four years ago I lost you and I look for you everywhere. St. Anthony is a son of a bitch.